VentureBeat

I know, I know, you’re a big-shot executive, and you don’t have time for all this April Fools nonsense. To be honest, neither did we — yet there we were, watching TechMeme fill with lies, damned lies and statistics.

So if you’ve been feeling like a character in a Philip K. Dick novel, or if you just sat April Fools’ Day out, we’re here to help. Here’s a summary of today’s five funniest, loopiest or most convincing hoaxes. I also talk a little more about April Fools’ Day, and how VentureBeat got fooled itself, in the mobile post below.

5. TechCrunch purchases TigerBeat — CNET reported that TechCrunch’s Michael Arrington acquired famous teen magazine TigerBeat and gave it the truly jaw-dropping name CrunchKids. Quoth Arrington: “I’ve always thought Big Tobacco had it right: Get ‘em while they’re young.” Speaking of jaw-dropping, what really pushes the article into awesomeness is this amazing picture of Arrington (left).

4. Valleywag pulls the covers on URLURL — New York City entrepreneur Nate Westheimer tried to convince a number of tech news site (bafflingly, not VentureBeat) to post fake news stories about a new site called URLURL. Like TinyURL, the site is supposed to convert long web addresses to short ones, but it actually just rickrolls you. Westheimer foolishly tried to recruit Valleywag, which promptly outed him and denounced cooperating websites who “line up to trick [their readers] and boost Westheimer’s profile for a day.”

3. Google attacks the web with pranks — Fake Google news included AdSense for conversations and a joint Google/Virgin expedition to Mars. My favorite, though, was Google Custom Time, through which you can trick people into thinking you sent an email earlier than you really did. Missed deadlines will be a thing of the past! If you really want to screw with someone, you can even mark emails as already read. Bonus points to Gmail for linking to the grandfather paradox.

2. Microsoft/Yahoo agree on buyout price — This one really freaked me out this morning, particularly since there was some real Microsoft-Yahoo news too. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I’d read the article a little more carefully, and caught this tip-off: “Employees that Microsoft decides to retain will be offered an XBox 360 game platform and a Zune music player as token of appreciation …”

1. TheUnFunded asks entrepreneurs: You can dish it out, but can you take it? — What can I say? We got punked.