I want to thank everyone who sent a question to my future self. After relearning how to type on our "archaic keyboards," he quickly went to work answering your queries.
Did motion controls finally die? Or have they grown even more prevalent? Have hardcore gamers attacked all the major publishers with flaming sticks and pitchforks for alienating them and only focusing on the casual crowd? If so, did anyone stick Activision head honcho Bobby Kotick in the rear with one of the pitchforks? — Ed G.
Casual games are here to stay, but you should be more worried about the upcoming advent of torture games. After cracking the casual market, game publishers go after the masochists. They're a much bigger threat to our culture. — Future Mike
Do we ever get another Ape Escape release? Oh, wait, that's monkey-related. -- Nicholas Feinig
Ahh! Monkeys!!!!! Also, yes. And it sucked. — Future Mike
I have a couple of questions:
1) Does LucasArts ever get off its ass and make more X-wing games?
2) Do we see the return of six-character parties in RPGs?
3) Does Atari finally do something with the Dungeons & Dragons license after a couple of years of neglect?
4) Do we get rid of bald/buzz-cut space marines and heroes?
5) When do we finally get rid of the walled-garden console?
- Jason Wilson
1) No, but most of us have our own X-wings at this point.
2) I remember eight-character parties being all the rage in the '20s, but six-character parties never enjoyed a comeback. Also, all of the old Forgotten Realms games were banned after the accident.
3) Not really. Atari is too busy being the world's largest console manufacturer…again.
4) Natural human evolution has completely done away with hair. Any of the hair you saw on me in Sunday's picture is just a toupee I wore so I would look like my present-day counterpart. Turns out everyone who's bald now is just more genetically advanced.
So, no, we don't get rid of bald space marines.
5) Yeah, remember that one-console-future you guys were hoping for so much? I wouldn't get too excited. As a matter of fact, remember when you had to have separate systems to play individual games like Pong? We're kind of back to that. — Future Mike
How much will Panzer Dragoon Saga and Shining Force 3 go for on eBay 30 years from now? – Ryan Good
Last I checked they were both selling at about 50,000,000 crannots. Sadly, I have no idea what the conversion rate is for crannots and your primitive monetary system. — Future Mike
How many more flavors of Mountain Dew Game Fuel will there be? – Rich McGrath
None. That's why finding enough Game Fuel to power my time machine was so difficult. — Future Mike
Has Gran Turismo 5 come out yet? -- Brett Bates
I don't really remember GT5 — Gran Turismo 5 — that well, but considering I saw GT39 at the grocery store before I traveled back in time, I think it's safe to say it finally made it. — Future Mike
Aw, man! I hate future Mike…he pops in from the future and steals my Capri Suns! The bastard!
Does gaming suck in the future because in the holodeck, everyone wants to be Jean-Luc Picard? I can imagine being the one Geordi LaForge while there are 5 billion Patrick Stewarts f***ing things up. — Jeffery Michael Grubb
In my defense, we don't have Capri Sun anymore in the future. I really miss stabbing pouches of fluid with a sharp straw. Also, we don't have holodecks yet. The future isn't that crazy. — Future Mike
Does Hideo Kojima have to keep making Metal Gear games in the future? – Kevin Miller
In the immediate future? Yes. But don't worry — everyone dies eventually. — Future Mike
When do you finally grow up and leave behind your silly Kingdom Hearts fandom? – Chris Wittington
Considering that half of the games released in the future star Mickey Mouse, I think you're the one who should jump on the Kingdom Hearts bandwagon. — Future Mike
That's it! If you have any more questions about the future of gaming, don't be afraid to ask.
Disclaimer: Future Mike's appearance in our timeline may greatly change the future he knows.
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