We’re deep into the gamevalanche now, kids. Batman is already a distant memory, and on the horizon lies Modern Warfare 3, Skyrim, and Zelda: Skyward Sword. That’s so much gaming that my heart hurts just thinking about the lack of exercise.
Dark Souls ships 1.5 million copies, and the title’s largest market is the United States. I don’t know how I feel about this. I’m glad that the game is doing well, but Americans are supposed to be lazy people who hate a challenge. From what I understand, Dark Souls is basically the video-game version of flogging yourself while trying to urinate into a Dixie cup as you cross a tightrope secured between the necks of two giraffes that are dodging stock cars at the Daytona 500. That doesn’t sound like a favorite pastime for most donut-fed Americans, even though I’m sure they’d enjoy watching that. It’s going to be difficult reconciling my fairly conceived notions about my fellow countrymen and the fact that a ton of them bought the giraffe-rope-peeing game. Regardless, congratulations to From Software.
Capcom will charge $49.99 for Resident Evil Revelations on the 3DS. What would you say is the difference — in American dollars — between a handheld game and whatever it is that Capcom makes? Apparently, it’s about 10 bucks. The company’s new survival-horror title costs exactly that much more than Nintendo’s Super Mario 3D Land and Mario Kart 7. Capcom explained that the price premium is justified because Resident Evil Revelations is “a true console experience on a handheld device.” Great, so for 10 extra dollars I can get a game for my 3DS that will have overly long cut-scenes and save points that are hours apart — sounds worth it to me. [Kotaku]
Sega is adding Tails to Sonic CD. The twin-tailed fox will be playable after gamers clear the game. As a fan of the wider Sonic lore, or The Furryverse as we call it, I’m ecstatic about this announcement. But now that the floodgate is open, why stop at Tails? How about including Knuckles the Echidna? He’s got attitude to spare. I’d love to get Vector the Crocodile in the mix. Or wouldn’t it be cool if the tables were turned and Maria Robotnik was playable? That’s it — I’ve decided that this game is getting a zero out of everything in my review if it doesn’t include Cheese the Chao, Blaze the Cat, and Rouge the Bat. I think Sega really knows what made those early games about the fast, blue hedgehog so popular…an endless list of incomprehensibly stupid characters. [ShackNews]
Ubisoft purchases Trials HD developer RedLynx. “We are delighted to welcome RedLynx to the Ubisoft family,” said Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot. “Their expertise in asynchronous online games and physics-based game mechanics provides us with a great opportunity to bring their powerful brands, most notably Trials, to an even broader range of fast-growing digital platforms.” Yeah…that probably means iOS and Android versions of Trials. That’s great and all, but I need me a joystick if I’m going to lose hours of my life to RedLynx’s motorcycle platformer. Thankfully, the developer is going to continue work on on its sequel to Trials HD. I’ll see you losers on the asynchronous leaderboards.
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