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News Blips: God of War multiplayer, Angry Birds Space’s astronomical success, and a princely colored 3DS

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In today’s Blips, another company does something questionable, but I still find a way to lay the fault at BioWare’s feet. Let’s find out how.

News Blips:


"BUT YOU SAID LASIK IS PAINLESS!"

God of War: Ascension will feature 8-person multiplayer. The sixth game in the series will have a mode that splits players up into two four-player teams that race to take down boss-sized characters. I know what you’re thinking: “But…will I get experience points and unlocks?” Why, of course. It’s still a video game, silly. To preserve canon, four Kratoses (Kratosi?) will not all be simultaneously flailing their magic chain-swords. Instead, each player will get his own custom Spartan. Sounds like a recipe for Mass Effect 3-like microtransactions to me. BioWare, what have you wrought? [GamerGaia]

Angry Birds Space launches past 50-million downloads in just over a month. That makes it the fastest-growing mobile game of all time. With that kind of success, though, isn’t it kind of weird that the birds are still so angry? It’s like that band Papa Roach. On the first album, the lead singer’s lyrics were all about suicide and bullies. Then his music made him rich and successful, so why was his second album all about suicide and bullies? So, yeah…Angry Birds is like that. [GamesBeat]

Nintendo announces a new color for the 3DS. The portable system will be going “Midnight Purple” on May 20 at a retailer near you. Weirdly, Midnight Purple is the name of my new concept album that covers the story of Midnight Cowboy in the style of Prince. Or, if you’re too young to understand that joke, it’s Barney the Dinosaur’s adult-film-star name. This latest shade of the visible spectrum will join Cosmo Black, Aqua Blue, Flame Red, and Pearl Pink…which also all sound like porn handles. OK, I got who, what, where, and when. The “why” is because Nintendo likes money. But I feel like I’m forgetting something — oh yeah! How much: The 3D device is still $169.99. Journalism!


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