My mother (pictured with me above) is an absolute sweetheart and an angel. She also knows almost nothing about video games. So I thought I’d show her some trailers for the biggest games coming out this fall and record her reactions. The results…well, they were pretty special.
Below is the dialogue that I had with my mother while we watched the videos. I’ve put her words in red. And yes, these really are her words.
Assassin’s Creed III
Sponsored by VB
Alright, what’s the first one?
This one’s called Assassin’s Creed 3.
Assassins? Oh, that’s not good. Is this the Revolutionary War?
Well, what’s an Assassin’s Creed?
It’s the assassins’ moral code.
Oh. It’s like the oath they took or something?
Like the Apostle’s Creed?
So this is another shoot-them-up?
No, you don’t shoot.
But they have guns [referring to the soldiers].
Yeah, but you’re not them.
I’m not going to be the eagle, am I?
[Connor, the player character, appears.]
Oh, he looks like an eagle.
He turns into an eagle.
No. I think that’s just editing.
Well, what side is he on? The American or the British?
They say he’s not on either side, but he seems to only fight the British.
Oh. So he’s on our side.
[Connor rides towards the entire British army as they ready their guns.]
And he’s invincible, I guess. He’s going to fight the whole Revolutionary War, and the other ones are just standing back watching.
[Connor starts fighting the British.]
Oh, he knows kung fu, too. Look, they’re just watching him!
[Sarcastically] They’re in awe. Why should they kill themselves when this guy wants to do it? Oh, here comes the Americans. They’re going to help him out now. They probably think, “Hey! If he can do, we can do it too!”
[My mom spends the rest of the trailer “oohing” at the acts of the violence.]
You know I don’t like these kinds of…is that George Washington?
[The trailer ends.]
So what did you think of that one?
I liked the historic value of it.
What don’t you like about it?