We live in a digital world, so it only makes sense that we now search for love via the same Internet we use to find adorable cat pictures. But what about our favorite video game characters? Just because they’re not real doesn’t meant they don’t still need a little romance. That’s why we made Extra Hearts, a dating site for fictional, digital people.
This time, we’re looking at the profile of the God of War himself, Kratos. Let’s see if he can put aside his famous rage long enough to attract a mate.
Dislikes: Minotaurs, sirens, banshees, medusae, wraiths, krakens, hydras, harpies, basilisks, centaurs, Persians, titans, gods, and demigods.
Likes: Killing all the things I dislike.
Background: I’m still not over my last serious relationship, so I’m just looking for someone (or two) to share a few quick-time events with.
My Perfect Date: I would stumble upon you waiting for me, already topless, and then slowly approach you as you marvel at my ashen body and riveting manliness.
Most interesting thing about me: I have a very famous dad. Well, had.
You should message me if: YOU ARE PREPARED TO FACE THE GOD OF WAR!!!!!!! ALSO, I APOLOGIZE AHEAD OF TIME FOR MY SHOUTING!!!! IT’S JUST A SELF-DEFENSE MECHANISM TO DEAL WITH MY INSECURITIES AND GUILT FOR MURDERING MY FAMILY!!!!!