GamesBeat

Alien Storm’s monsters will eat you alive, then fart

Alien Storm fuses three playing styles (beat-em-up, first-person shooter, and side-scrolling shooter), marketed as “Action. Destroy. Run. Triplicated fun!” by Sega.

Action

The three daring heroes take care of business in front of a prestigious hotel. Monsters check in, but they don’t check out.

Destroy

First-person shooting levels provide a nice change of pace. These freaking aliens love hiding in convenience stores, car dealers, and warehouses.

Sega Channel

In the electronics outlet stage, some of the TVs on sale display images of previous Sega titles like Golden Axe, Crack Down, Shinobi, and Columns. Wait, that’s Tetris. Odd. …

Run

High-speed, side-scrolling shooting segments make me suspect that Gordon and Karla may not be entirely human. Even Sonic the Hedgehog would be envious of their ridiculous velocity.

Big boss

Midway through their killing spree, the courageous trio encounters a high-ranking general of the alien army that looks like a witch-faced jellyfish with fingers protruding from its body. A few dozens hits later, the beast morphs into some sort of bipedal behemoth with an insatiable hunger for human viscera. Finally, when angered enough, the boss transforms into a massive, pulsating, fire-spewing, multieyed dreidel.

Bad breath, man

The Alien Busters take out a flying saucer they thought to be the invader’s mother ship, but then an even larger UFO descends and takes the commandos into deep space.

The brains in the family

At last, the real mastermind behind the attack presents itself. It’s a revolting brain with a creepy human-like eye surrounded by infinite hoards of minions. Once defeated, the whole ship explodes. Congratulations, Earth is saved!

Roll credits

What happened to Gordon, Karla, and Scooter after the living aircraft went boom? Did they get vaporized? Were they picked up by a space taxi? Their fate is unknown. Instead of a proper ending sequence, we’re treated with a stupid parade of the title’s cast of characters accompanied by circus music.

Screw you, Slimer

After the absurd credits, a group of insane judges rates your progress. The representative of Shortcircuiton loves you, but Slimer is not impressed.

Game over

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