Nothing fuels a hero’s anger more than failing to protect those around him, especially a loved one who wears pink dress, a golden crown on her head, and goes by the name of “Peach.”
Villains take great pride in their kidnapping skills and grasp every possible opportunity to show them off. The following gallery features 20 hijacked victims, both damsels and dons, from classic video games.
Double Dragon — Marian
Marian (Double Dragon)
Machine Gun Willy and the Black Warriors gang nab Marian right in front of boyfriend Billy Lee's home. You don't want to mess with people who punch women in the thigh.Source: Samir Torres
Altered Beast — Athena
Athena (Altered Beast)
I don't know exactly how Neff captured Athena, but my guess is that Zeus saw the event unfold in his shiny, purple ball. Instead of getting her back himself, the god of gods sent two centurion zombies to retrieve her. Father of the year!Source: Samir Torres
Haunted Castle — Selena
Selena (Haunted Castle)
Just minutes after getting married, Dracula swoops in and snatches Selena from Simon Belmont's arms. I suppose the lord of vampires couldn't do it inside the church because it's a holy place.Source: Samir Torres
Super Adventure Island II — Tina
Tina (Super Adventure Island II)
To celebrate their wedding, Master Higgins and Tina go on a trip through the ocean. A cyclone separates them and both end up with amnesia. Tina wanders into a castle, and the king falls in love and marries her. Then a giant bird takes her away.
The king needs a warrior to go find her and he enlists ... Master Higgins. Wow.Source: Samir Torres
Mega Man X2 — Zero
Zero (Mega Man X2)
Zero sacrificed himself to save X at the end of Mega Man X. Some time later, Sigma steals Zero's remains, hoping to reassemble the blonde reploid and turn him against his blue friend.Source: Samir Torres
Adam Hunter (Streets of Rage 2)
Mr. X declares war on Axel and Blaze by taking their yellow shirt-wearing friend hostage. The rogue police officers recruit Adam's underage brother, Skate, to help them find him. Operation human shield activated.Source: Samir Torres
Super Mario World — Princess Peach
Princess Peach (Super Mario World)
Why does Bowser repeatedly kidnap Peach? To marry her? What could come out of this relationship? Do we really want to know?
In Super Mario World, the giant turtle hides the princess inside his Koopa Clown Copter. During the final boss fight, Peach occasionally pops up and tosses Mario a mushroom.
Wait, does Bowser know Peach has an arsenal of 'shrooms on her? If not, where does she hide them? Such a mysterious game!Source: Samir Torres
Adventures of Lolo — Lala
Lala (Adventures of Lolo)
King Egger steals Lala from Lolo.
If Egger can fly, why does he just sit there when Lolo solves the last level? I should stop using logic in games about sentient hairballs shoving blocks.Source: Samir Torres
Earthworm Jim — Princess What’s-Her-Name
Princess What's-Her-Name (Earthworm Jim)
After a long and arduous battle, Jim rescues the sexy insect princess from The Evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Stinky, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt.Source: Samir Torres
Final Fight — Jessica
Jessica (Final Fight)
Members of the Mad Gear gang truly are mad. Who in their right mind would kidnap the daughter of Mike Haggar? That guy can bench-press an ice cream truck with a dozen of fat kids inside.
Under Belger's orders, Damnd abducts the woman in red and sends the wrestler-turned-mayor a video message of his tied-up daughter in her underwear. As expected, Haggar, Cody, and Guy toss Belger through a window of the tallest building in Metro City.Source: Samir Torres
Bad Dudes vs. DragonNinja — President Ronnie
President Ronnie (Bad Dudes vs. DragonNinja)
The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President? Did we mention you'll be paid in hamburgers? Good. Go make America proud.Source: Samir Torres
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest — Donkey Kong
Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
In the original Donkey Kong Country, Kaptain K. Rool stole Kong's banana hoard and got his reptilian ass kicked as a result. Now, the evil pirate nabbed the gorilla himself and won't release him unless Diddy hands the bananas over. I didn't even know crocodiles ate fruit.Source: Samir Torres
Battletoads in Battlemaniacs — Zits
Zits (Battletoads in Battlemaniacs)
Emissaries of the Dark Queen, including the repulsive Silas Volkmire, abduct Zits and Michiko Tashoku right in the faces of Pimple and Rash.
Check out the pic above for a second. If that club had another nail on the bottom, Zits would be either dead or strapped to a wheelchair, wearing a tutu, and soiling his adult diaper.Source: Samir Torres
Art of Fighting — Yuri Sakazaki
Yuri Sakazaki (Art of Fighting)
Before becoming skilled in Kyokugenryu Karate, Yuri got kidnapped by Mr. Big in the original Art of Fighting.
Her father, Takuma, trained her in secret so that she could defend herself the next time a baldy with sweaty hands invaded her personal space.Source: Samir Torres
Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins — Princess Prin Prin
Princess Prin Prin (Ghosts 'n' Goblins)
When you take your date to a graveyard in the middle of the night, you're basically asking for a winged demon to fly down and snatch her.
I hope -- for Prin Prin's sake -- that the monster is holding her up using magic.Source: Samir Torres
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — April O’Neil
April O'Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Getting abducted by demented Japanese samurai is part of April's job description. Although in this particular case, Shredder is actually saving her from a fiery grave.Source: Samir Torres
Mortal Kombat II — Sonya Blade
Sonya Blade (Mortal Kombat II)
At some point after the first Mortal Kombat tournament, Sonya Blade was kidnapped by Shang Tsung and taken into Outworld. You can see her in the background of Shao Kahn's arena chained to a post along with her arch-nemesis, Kano.Source: Samir Torres
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past — Princess Zelda
Princess Zelda (The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past)
Poor Princess Zelda is destined to get perpetually abducted by Ganon.
In A Link to the Past, a mysterious man named Agahnim infiltrates Hyrule's castle and casts Zelda into the Dark World. The wizard turns out to be Ganon, so history repeats itself once more.Source: Samir Torres
Kung Fu Master — Silvia
Silvia (Kung Fu Master)
The first rule to become a master of kung fu is not dodging knives when your girlfriend is standing directly behind you. And please, take a moment to check up on her from time to time, especially if several unknown guys roam near.Source: Samir Torres
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