GamesBeat

My mom previews Tomb Raider, Dark Souls II, and other big games of 2013

Gears of War: Judgment

All right, this one’s called Gears of War: Judgment. It’s, like, the fourth Gears of War game.

What world war is this?

Oh, this is after a war with aliens. Actually, this is during it.

Well, I don’t believe in aliens.

Oh. Well, this game says they exist.

Well, they don’t. What’s “Emergency Day?”

No, Emergence Day. That’s when the aliens came.

Oh. I thought it was Emergency Day. No wonder the world is screwed up with all you kids.

These guns have chainsaws on them.

Oh, my gosh. So you can saw a tree while killing somebody?

Actually, you use them on people.

So it has two purposes.

It’s a multitool.

Was that the Blessed Mother?!

No!

I think it was a statue of the Blessed Mother!

No, it was not.

Yes, it was. The girl looks like a guy.

What did you think of that one?

Nah. I don’t like any of them so far. It’s all blood and gore.