Slice! Chop! A Talking Mechanical Dog!? Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Baby!

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Are you looking for a game with EXTREME visceral combat, AND you’re a freaking CYBORG NINJA!?

Well look no further, ‘cause Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is the game for you!

A spin-off of the classic series Metal Gear, Revengeance takes a new route in the franchise. Yessir, this is a full-on, no-holds-barred action game with plenty of twists and turns to keep you simultaneously engrossed yet befuddled by the profound interactions and events the explosions happening around you.


Well in case you think your eyes are deceiving you, yes, I DID.

See that guy over there? Yeah, him. Guess what? He’s not that swell of a guy. He did some things with child brains or…something. Who cares. Freakin’ SLICE HIM UP, DUDE! Yeah, just like that. Guess what else? You can slice him up ANY WAY YOU WANT!  Just hold left trigger and GO BANANAS.


Oh, what? You thought this would be a cakewalk? Pfft, haha, dream on sucker. You can only hold left trigger for so long before you run out of juice. Oh, and it’s called Blade Mode. Hmmm? You wanna slice n’ dice your enemies into cubed meat ALL the time? Well, okay, but I have to make it interesting.

To REGAIN YOUR JUICE, all you gotta do is CUT OUT THEIR SPINAL CORDS, BRO! They’re filled with delicious and nutritious fluids, not quite sure why though. Honestly I only found out because of my cannibalistic tendencies.

wait what


ANYWAYS, pretty sweet, right? Alllriiight.  But I can’t forget to mention this oooonnneee teeny tiny thing that you may have an issue with.

You uh…sorta kinda can’t block, I guess? But you can do this SUPER COOL parry thing that works roughly 70% of the time.  It’s no biggie, I swear. Just wait until you get surrounded, it works perfectly bro, I’m telling you.

But yeah, that’s pretty much the run-down dude. Get out there and buy yourself a copy, you won’t regret it.

 And in case you’ve forgotten;




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