Mike: That was the hard part. Just go get the key.
Mom: Let’s see.
Mike: There you go. Now just go through that door.
Mom: I have to go up to the door?
Mike: That’s easier. Look. Use single jumps. Single jumps will get you there. Jump, then go right. Jump and go left.
Mom: Jeez. Oh, no.
Mike: There you go. See?
Mom: OK, I’m there.
Mike: Push up now, when you’re —
Mike: See? You beat the first level.
Mike: All right. Push A. Start the new level.
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[My mom is reading the text on the screen.]
Mom: “I knew you’d come. I’m taking you now, just ahead.” I have to go and get that key?
Mike: Yeah. I don’t know how. You probably do something with these blocks, I bet. Oh, I see. You’re fine. You have to jump up there and jump against that. Just jump against — there you go.
[My mom beats the second level with much less difficulty.]
Mom: I got through two levels.
Mike: That’s not bad, yeah. I don’t think you got through a single level in Dark Souls II.
Mom: Nope. That was a creepy game.
[As if merely mentioning Dark Souls II is a curse, my mom immediately falls to her death.]
Mom: Oh, now I’m dead!
Mike: That’s OK, you’re back.
Mom: What’s that exclamation?
Mike: It told you to push the R — I know what to do.
Mom: Where’s R?
Mike: It’s this one. Oh! It makes you do a dash. Go to the ledge and push R. Closer to the ledge. You’ll dash right over the gap.
Mike: That’s a couple more times dying.
Mom: I don’t understand.
Mike: Go as close to the ledge as you can. Now do it.
Mom: I’ll fall off again.
Mike: No, you won’t. You’ll clear the gap this time. See?
Mike: OK. Do that again, the ledge. No, the other — no!
Mom: What am I doing?
Mike: Go across the ledge again with the R button. There you go. See?
[My mom notices more fire.]
Mom: Is that going to burn me?
Mike: No. Um. …
Mom: Do I go down here?
Mike: No, that’s a bad idea. Jump and then push R into the fire. Double jump next to the fire and push R.
Mom: Yeah. Easy for you to say.
Mike: Well, it’s just three buttons. Oh, I see. You have to jump really high, Mom, and then push R to go over. Get as close as you can, jump, and at the height of your jump jump again, and then push R.
Mom: I can’t do —
Mike: Yes you can. No, no. Jump. Jump. R.
Mike: See, it’s teaching you to do all the little things you need to do in the game.
Mom: Oh, this is only teaching me?
Mike: It’s teaching you while you’re playing. It just gets more complex the more you play it.
Mom: Oh, lord.
Mike: Just step on that latch down there.
Mom: I can’t get down there.
Mike: If you zoom I bet you can fit.
Mom: OK, how do I zoom?
Mike: No, the dash you’ve been doing, with the R. Well, the other way.
Mom: Yeah … I can’t fit in there.
Mike: Try zooming when you’re at the top.
Mom: I don’t know what zooming is.
Mike: That’s the dash thing! Same thing. I’m just using different words.
Mom: That doesn’t work.