Everyone needs love, even our favorite video game characters. That’s why we created Extra Hearts, a dating site for the likes of Samus, Mega Man, and other digital heroes.

This time, Nintendo’s favorite mascot, Mario, creates a profile. After Peach broke his heart with her Extra Hearts page, this could get a little awkward.

Extra Hearts: Mario

Likes: Sports, the color red, and flutes.

Dislikes: Eels, blue shells, lava, hotels, evil doppelgangers that smell like garlic, and stupid pink princesses who’d lead a guy on for 25 years.

Favorite foods: Pasta, mushrooms, peaches — OH GOD WHY CAN’T SHE LOVE MEEE???

Most interesting thing about me: I saved the universe by flying through open space and jumping on things. And then three years later I did it again. Oh, I also saved the same ungrateful bitch each time while I was at it.

Our first date: We can go to any world or zone you like … except the friendzone.

You should message me if: You think saving the world and your life would deserve more of a reward than a kiss on the cheek.


Extra Hearts: Mario comments

Extra Hearts: Mario comments

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