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Back when I used to play a lot of role-playing games one thought would pop into my head after certain things in life didn't go my way: I can just go back and reload an old save. I would quickly realize I was playing too much Xenogears and that I can't go back in time so my mother wouldn't be mad at me for not cleaning the cat's litter box. But what if we could have video game features and power-ups in the real world? Here's a list of five of the ones I'd like to have if we could.
5. Dialogue options with (mostly) clear-cut conclusions
How often have you said something you thought was the right thing to say? Maybe you're out on a date, or trying to reconcile with that special someone. Heck, maybe you're just trying to come up with something good to contribute to your college English course or staring at a menu in Taco Bell.
However, instead of being smooth like Commander Shepard or the Commander of the Grey, you end up mincing your words like Vincent in Catherine and end up yelling mamma mia like a certain red-clad plumber because of your stupidity.
My real-life speech skills get me to this point with girls. It's what I say after that sucks.
Yeah, having the gift of gab and knowing what your choices mean for your life would be pretty helpful, which leads us to…
4. Save points
Sometimes even Commander Shepard gets it wrong. But what if just like when he makes a mistake, we could go back in time and reload a past section of our life? Imagine if we could go through life and make the decisions we feel are the best by being able to test the waters and go back to decide something else. It would make life a little less exciting, but we'd be able to see what would come of things if we could make the best decisions — or worst if that's your thing, sadist — in life. Heck, maybe Mario wouldn't have to rescue Peach so much if he could just go back in time and just do away with Bowser in his first game.
Save points. I want them.
3. Tanooki suit or Yoshi
I don't care if Yoshi isn't a power-up or feature–I want him as my trusty eat-whatever-I-want-to-and-butt-stomp-to-succeed steed. Now that I think of it, I don't think I'd need him to eat anyone or anything, but how cool would it be to have a dinosaur to ride around on that could potentially spit fireballs, fly and show up ponies? Too cool for words. Now give me a raccoon suit that gives me the ability to fly and let me ride Yoshi and we have a winning combination of… well, weirdness to be perfectly honest.
This would be cooler if I could fly. And had a tail.
I've always been a fan of animals. Zoos are one of my favorite places to visit, and I've done a lot of (mostly dangerous) wildlife photography in Alaska. But what if I could capture those animals in something other than my camera's photographs? What if I could catch them in a Pokeball? Now then, aside from the impossible science of it all, animal cruelty and other negative factors associated with a Pokeball, how cool would it be to have your very own collection of animals to just unleash at will? I'm not sure how smart it would be to unleash, say, a bear for instance into your front yard, but it would make for a fun way to collect cute and deadly animals.
My Yoshi. Otherwise known as a Hodag.
1. Create a player mode/leveling up
Imagine being able to assign different stats and statistics to key areas — much like an RPG or Pro Evolution Soccer game — to yourself. Instead of working at the gym for weeks on end to get a little stronger, you can just pump up the points in your stats. Some games even let you tweak the stats when you want, so if one day someone needs a bit more speed for a soccer game, they could change that stat. Maybe the next day they need some more intelligence for a test — the ways you could tailor your body and mind would be endless. Maybe you'd also have to deal with morality issues, but I think I'd be too busy boosting my hand and eye coordination stats so I could let Deus Ex worry about those questions for me while I blast fools with killer precision.
What about you, Bitmobbers? Are there any features or cool video game power-ups you'd like to use in real life?