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Alas, all good things must come to an end: the Electronic Entertainment Expo wrapped up its festivities at the L.A. Convention Center early Thursday evening. Booths were dismantled, journalists flew home, and here I am, my eyes tearing up at the lack of press conferences to make fun of for at least another year. A sad time for all of us, I'm sure.
But fear not: Here is the last set of my extremely prestigious E3 2012 awards. Congrats to all the winners!
Second Best Tech Demo: Unreal Engine 4
Not content to let Square-Enix steal the next-generation spotlight, Epic publically unveiled the fourth installment of its ubiquitous Unreal Engine on GameTrailers TV. In the demo, Epic's talented team of artists and programmers rendered a dark fantasy setting, with an ancient knight coming to life in a decrepit castle. Impressive stuff, sure, but there's a distinct lack of beefy meatheads: How else am I supposed to know when a game is built with the Unreal engine?
Best Portal Look-Alike: Quantum Conundrum
When Kim Swift — former design and project lead on the original Portal — told the PlayStation Blog that she wanted to "selfishly" develop a game similar to Valve's celebrated first-person puzzler, she really wasn't kidding. The upcoming Quantum Conundrum by Airtight Games is also a first-person puzzler, utilizing unique mechanics to get from one end of the room to another. In lieu of a portal gun, the player uses an inter-dimensional shift device: in one example, a "heavy" dimension was in effect, making all objects in the environment indestructible. If only I could have heavy-dimension'd my heart in real life, right before my ex-girlfriend smashed it to pieces.
Best Use of a Time Machine: Dance Central 3
Time traveling is a tricky thing to do, not because of potentially meeting your past self and causing a rip in the time-space continuum, but because of its uncanny ability to create the largest plot holes known to man. Luckily, it doesn't seem like that will be the case with Harmonix's Dance Central 3: A time machine will be used in the game's fiction to justify the inclusion of such classic disco hits like The Hustle. Cool, right? Just make sure you don't run into a younger version of your mom or dad while you're out there dancing — things could get creepy real fast.
Best WTF Game: Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit
The French have proven themselves capable of making some wonderfully weird games (see Rayman Origins) and it looks like they're at it again with Arkedo Studio's Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit. You see, Ash (the skeletal rabbit above) is supposed to be the prince of Hell, but something went wrong, and now he's on a quest to take his rightful place on the
Iron fiery throne with gratutious amounts of violence. There are over a hundred unique monsters that you'll encounter, and kill, only once in the game; there's even a bestiary listing their backstory on how they ended up in Hell. And the best one shown so far? A chainsaw-wielding pile of poo. This is Game of the Year material, folks.
The "I will sacrifice my first-born child to get this game" Award: Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
No snarkiness here. I just want this game NOW.
E3 Attendant Most Likely to Become an Internet Meme: This guy
Sorry dude, you're doing it wrong.
And that's a wrap! Are there any particularly juicy moments or games from E3 that I missed? Let me know in the comments below!