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As a young man, Jeff Grubb was convinced that he would one day command a Star Destroyer. As an adult, he’ll settle for janitor on a Mon Calamari frigate.

Location:Columbus, OH

stories by Jeff Grubb

Blog: Dragon’s Crown is perverted and that is OK

Let’s talk about boobs. Gaming’s hottest topic right now is the chest of a fantasy character in developer Vanillaware’s upcoming beat-em-up Dragon’s Crown. Her breasts are very, very large. In the videos I’ve seen, they look almost too large, but I’ve performed some research using Google Images that confirms they are not the largest breasts to appear on such a small-framed woman.

An apology.

I'm sorry to the staff of GamesBeat and the followers of the GamesBeat Twitter account for inadvertently causing an awful message from a bigoted individual to appear on the site's official Twitter.

People still don’t understand where OUYA fits in

The phrase "OUYA launch game" kinda weirds me out. That is like calling Guild Wars II a launch game for the PC I'm building right now. A lot of casual observers and even veteran journalists still don't seem to understand what the OUYA is. Everyone's trying to fit this new piece of hardware into an old paradigm that just doesn't work.   My PC analogy doesn't really work either. The OUYA isn't like a Windows beige box, but it also isn't like an indie-only version of an Xbox 360. It's a Kindle Fire.    The Kindle Fire is Amazon's 7-inch Android tablet. The device runs a modified version of the Google operating system that only allows access to Amazon's Appstore.    OUYA is doing something very similar. Both machines run on modified versions of the Android OS. Both have their proprietary app marketplace. Both are inexpensive compared to competing products.    Only unlike the Fire, the OUYA probably won't close off access to other app stores. That's what the company means when it says its console will be "open."    On most Android devices, installing a separate program is just about as easy as installing a .exe file on Windows. That's the only way that you can currently install the Amazon Appstore on non-Amazon devices. Google isn't going to host a competitor market in the Play store, but it won't stop you from installing it if that's what you really want.    Amazon took Android and closed it down. OUYA brags that it'll do the opposite.      If that's true, then nothing should prevent OUYA owners from downloading every game on the Play store on day one with the system. Sure, the majority of those games aren't optimized to work with a physical controller, but quite a few are. A while back, Sony released its PlayStation-branded Xperia Play, which featured a slide-out controller. A handful of high-profile games support that phone despite it not being a huge success.     If a game supports the Xperia Play (or a bluetooth controller), then it will very likely support the OUYA game pad.    Minecraft: Pocket Edition supports the Xperia Play. The next time someone tries to say that the OUYA doesn't have Minecraft, simply smile and let them know that you'll be playing it on day one. Minecraft may not be on the OUYA-branded market, but "open and hackable" means that doesn't matter.    Left 4 Dead 2 isn't on the Games For Windows Live marketplace, but that doesn't mean you can't play it on your Windows machine. That's crazy, and yet that is what people are suggesting here. It shows a fundamental misunderstanding of this product.     So the OUYA is built like a Kindle Fire that operates on the principles of a PC with a console controller and a smartphone app store. Where does something like that fit in?    If it's successful, then it will be recognized forever as the next phase of dedicated gaming. If it's a failure, then it will be forgotten as a missing link in the medium's evolutionary path. Either way, it's one step ahead of everything else. 

Turn Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for the PC into a Batman simulator

Reddit user S282 posted a collection of Batman mods to the community-driven news aggregator for the open-world crime game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The add-ons (which can be downloaded here) transform the west-coast metropolis into a decent approximation of Bruce Wayne's Gotham City. Virtual caped crusaders can drive the Tumbler, glide with the cape, and run from the GC police department's patrol cars.

This Skyrim mod based on Zelda: Majora’s Mask will keep you on your toes

I often find myself lollygagging in the wilds of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Something about the setting puts me in a lackadaisical mood. Usually, I have a list of goals I hope to complete each time I power up the game, but instead I waste my time as if I had all the time in the world. Well, I’ve found a cure to my apathetic Skyrim ways: The Marjora’s Mask moon mod.

Civilization V: Gods & Kings subtly criticizes religion

I founded a religion last night. We worship trees and stone. Unsurprisingly, my cities are surrounded by forests and stone quarries. By shaping my religion based on my surroundings, I’ve gained bonus happiness for my people and improved their faith. This is the Gods portion of the new Civilization V expansion Gods & Kings, and it is a rather cynical look at how rulers form religions to benefit themselves.

E3 2012: The year of the bow

Guns are out! What's in? Bows! That's right, kids, 2012 is all about the bow and the arrow. Screw that weak Donatello bow-staff garbage. All the cool kids are lashing together a bundle of sticks and then flinging another stick from that bundle with the purpose of murdering people. No greater trend exists in gaming than the bow. No greater trend needs to exist.

Gamer fashion: The finest in pajama-pants design

Fashionable. That's how I describe my circle of gaming friends. They know that nothing is classier during 15-hour sessions of Diablo III than a cashmere ascot, a pair of decorative spectacles, and an eight-inch cigarette holder. It's with that type of class in mind that I present to you the height of gaming fashion: The licensed sleeping trousers.

6 tips for improving your Trials Evolution times

Trials Evolution, the greatest motorcycle platformer since Trials HD, is finally out. Since Wednesday, I've been spending most of my nights taking my rightful position at the top of the leaderboards. In that time, I've sharpened my skills and gotten better at some of the insane obstacle courses that you'll find in this gem from developer RedLynx. Let me help you.

News Blips: Android Humble Bundle 2, EA shutters 14 game servers, and Battlefield’s answer to Elite

I’ve been sucked into the daily routine of Draw Something. Although I’m noticing that the central conceit of the game is escaping some of the randoms I’ve played against. One drew the word “Luke” and the secret word, unsurprisingly, turned out to be “Luke.” Hey, creatures of the Internet, it’s not called Do Me A Favor And Tell This Person This Word For Me.