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Evan Killham has written for Bitmob and a bunch of sites you’ve never heard of (but not in a hipster way). He spends half of his day making bad jokes, half of his day explaining and/or apologizing for those jokes, and a third half trying to think of interesting things to write on the Internet. He receives the extra time from his best friend, a cyborg monkey capable of bending time and space. He is currently adapting their story into an off-off-off-Broadway musical entitled “Macaque to the Future.”


stories by Evan Killham

If you ask nicely, this artist will draw you a Pokémon (from memory)

Over the past few months, illustrator Laura Bifano has been running a side project through Tumblr in which Pokéfans describe their favorite pocket monster, and the artist will draw it based on what she may or may not remember. She claims not to have seen a Pokémon since she was 12, so the accuracy of the final piece depends entirely on her own recollection and the strength of the original description.

3 neglected properties Telltale Games should pick up

Developer Telltale Games has just wrapped up its five-episode "season" of games based on the mega-popular series of graphic novels, The Walking Dead. The smart money says the team will keep the momentum going and get started on Season 2, but if it wants to keep us all in suspense for a little longer, I can think of a few other properties that could benefit from the sort of faithful and nuanced treatment we got for the zombie-apocalypse drama. I don't expect to see these titles actually come out, but this is the Internet, damn it, and it's made of dreams.

If you play FIFA Soccer 13 on console, say goodbye to the funniest glitch of the year

Developer Electronic Arts' patch for the latest installment in its annual FIFA soccer game series came out for PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 earlier today (it dropped on PC last week, because PC). Among the fixes is the usual "general stability during gameplay," but the update also eliminates one of the most inconvenient and puzzling glitches this year.

2 important questions about the ‘Leon’ campaign in Resident Evil 6

Developer Capcom unleashed Resident Evil 6, the latest installment in its survival-ish horror-y franchise a couple of weeks ago. I'm almost done with series…favorite(?) Leon Kennedy's campaign (one of three in the game), and while I'm not quite as down on this title as Bitmob and GamesBeat writer Jasmine Rea is, I have spent a lot of my time playing it scratching my head. I assume the head-scratching is out of confusion, but I guess I wouldn't rule out Zombie Flu (which is just like the regular flu, but with zombies).

Silent Hill: Book of Memories is a dungeon crawler, because why the hell not?

The latest installment in publisher Konami's Silent Hill series, Silent Hill: Book of Memories, comes out for Sony's PlayStation Vita portable console next week. Developer WayForward (maker of Contra 4 for the Nintendo DS, A Boy and His Blob for the Wii) is trying something different with its contribution to the well-worn horror franchise, trading in the traditional formula of "let me wander around this foggy town and holy shit, genital monsters" for something more like "let me, the player, control a guy wandering around a series of rusty dungeons in an isometric viewpoint, leveling up my character, collecting loot, and holy shit, genital monsters."

What Superman did for video games

Bitmob community member Daniel Castro's article  about developer Rocksteady's Batman titles (which is immediately below this one on our front page feed) provides valuable commentary on how "branded" games need not be awful. But while it's great to talk about games made right, we can also gain a lot of insight from a series of dismal, catastrophic failures.

The Darksiders series’ Apocalypse doesn’t give two sh!ts about you

At the beginning of developer Vigil Games' first installment of its Darksiders series, War arrives on Earth to find it ending. He is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, after all, so this makes perfect sense. In a very brief sequence, players see helicopters falling out of the sky, buildings collapsing, people running for their lives, and, in the middle of it all, angels and demons waging their final battle for the planet.

Rock Band Blitz and the end of an era

Do you remember when you'd invite friends over, and you'd drag your plastic Rock Band instruments out from whichever corner or closet you'd stashed them in, and maybe people weren't too excited at first, but then someone would sing The Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" horribly and all was right with the world again?

3 books that shouldn’t become video games (that I would totally play)

Earlier this week, Bitmob community writer Mark Purcell offered up three books that he believes would make great video games. His list is excellent, and it gave me a lot to think about. Not just about other works of literature that would benefit from this kind of adaptation, mind you. I immediately thought of a couple dozen books that would make terrible video games. But then I thought of some awful page-to-screen adaptations that I don't think I'd be able to resist, and after all of that thinking, I had to go lie down for a little while.

My Arkham Asylum replay had a few Bat-pieces missing

The other night, I finished a replay of Batman: Arkham Asylum on the hardest difficulty setting. I did this for several reasons. First, because I saw The Dark Knight Rises and felt an incredible urge to pretend to be Batman, and most city police frown on people doing that in real life. Secondly, I wanted to grab a few Xbox 360 Achievements I'd missed the first time around. And finally, because I wanted to receive constant reminders of how much developer Rocksteady had improved on the formula in its second game, Arkham City.

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale’s puzzling design decision makes PaRappa a killer

I spent some time earlier this week with the beta for developer SuperBot's Sony mash-up fighter PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, and while it was a crazy good time, one of its design decisions really struck me as odd. And no, it wasn't the random quiz show that broke out in the middle of the match or the impromptu battle between God of War's Hades and a squad of Patapon warriors.

3 reasons not to buy games (right away)

In this fast-paced, hustle-and-bustle world of ours, a lot of people are afraid of being left behind. I'm often worried that I'll be at a party and people will start talking about Lost, and I won't have anything to add because I've only seen like 10 minutes of that show. But then I remember that the odds of that very specific situation arising are pretty low, and I don't get invited to parties, anyway.

How Rocksteady can transport Batman’s rogues gallery to the Silver Age

Current rumors suggest that developer Rocksteady's next Batman game will be a prequel to its previous titles, Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. The new game will supposedly take place in the comic-book world's Silver Age (between 1956 and 1970), and if that turns out to be true, Rocksteady has a pretty big job ahead of it. How can it transport the dark, rusty-metal versions of Batman villains it established in the previous installments to a more stylized, squeakier-clean time period?

How to survive the Steam Summer Sale

Developer Valve opened the floodgates of ridiculous savings on the Steam Summer Sale today. Over the next week and a half, PC gamers will throw their wallets at their computers and stock up on games they've wanted to play, games they're curious about playing but will buy now because they're on sale, and games they already own on another platform but what the hell, they're super cheap.

Making a deal with Demon’s Souls

You might remember my 30-minute dip into From Software's harder-than-hardcore role-playing title Demon's Souls last week. I've put a few more hours into it since that first play session, and I think the two of us have established an interesting "working relationship." Basically, the game has agreed not to help me in any way, and I have agreed to keep playing it.

30 (rushed) minutes with Demon’s Souls

A few weeks ago, I wrote about three games I'm too afraid to play (I forget what the name of that article was, but I'm sure it wasn't on-the-nose at all). One of those fearful titles was From Software's PlayStation 3-exclusive role-playing game Demon's Souls, which frightened me because everyone keeps telling me how freakishly difficult it is. But I'm 31 years old and far too "mature" to let a bunch of ones and zeroes give me the willies, so long story short, I own a copy of Demon's Souls now.

My favorite games of 2012 have zero replay value

It's a little early to start talking about "Best of 2012" yet, but I know that when we get around to it, two titles are definitely going to be on my list: thatgamecompany's existential wandering game Journey, and Polytron's retro-styled brain-squeezer Fez. I say this knowing that while I played both of these games and enjoyed them immensely, I see no reason to ever play them again.

Hey, Sonic? Get out of the car

This is a screenshot from Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, Sega's new racing game coming out on every console this holiday season. As the title suggests, it features a cast of characters from throughout Sega history (and also NASCAR star Danica Patrick, for some reason).

What it takes for me to play on “Hard”

I consider myself to be a "core" gamer, by which I mean that I would rather shoot things than farm things. I don't, however, consider myself to be a "hardcore" gamer, which means that my difficulty setting of choice has always been "Normal." I've never had a whole lot to prove in the skill department, and Xbox Achievements are not actually a huge draw here, contrary to my long, torrid history with them.