If you were to have asked me in kindergarten what kind of power I’d want if I were a super-hero, I’d probably tell you something like x-ray vision, or to be irresistible to the ladies. One’s perfect for fighting an archnemesis, the other for relaxing after said fight. After toying around with Cole in Infamous, it was quite clear to me that no one at Sucker Punch surveyed any kindergarten-babies. That, or someone with power in the company was using this game to promote the Hydro company. Sad.

Cole/Infamous

Yes, unfortunately for our little hero he was given the distinct and equally uncool power of electricity; good for power-outages, but horribly boring for taking out the baddies. So boring that I thought the idea of an electrically-charged hero must’ve never been used before. I mean, who else would want to torture a fictional character to this degree? But like Batman and Bruce Wayne, Cole’s identity behind the mask (or in this case, in front of the mask) was ultimately found.

Static Shock

While I was explaining Infamous to a friend, he uttered these words to confirm the description of main character Cole: "he’s like Static ". Now, both of us are—for the most part— illiterate in any caped-crusader’s world; we don’t read any sort of graphic-novels, or any other graphic-related books, and at Comic Con we sure as hell don’t cosplay as what we believe are under appreciated heroes (nor do we even go). But apparently we both share an obscure knowledge of B-level masked-men created by Warner Bros. Odd as that is, it lit a spark in my mind. I don’t blame you if you don’t recognize the name Static, apart from any frustrating pranks you may play. Though, perhaps you’d know him under his real name-Virgil Ovid Hawkins? No? Then clearly the kind people behind Sly Cooper’s plan worked; mimic the story of an under appreciated hero (wouldn’t it be great to cosplay as Static?) and hope no one catches you. Too bad everything was all too similar. I figured you out, Sucker Punch, and now, so will everyone else!

 

Cole Cole

Utterly boring and useless super-power: being able to provide enough electricity to power a TV, and possibly a radio.

Born and raised: in a fictional city, which strikes an uncanny resemblance to the place everyone wishes would stop appearing in video games—New York.

Sidekick: an overweight man who talks too much. He probably smells like moldy pizza.

 

Static Static

Super-power that was once totally original: deep-frying villains with enough electricity to power two TV’s, and definitely a radio. Possibly even one with access to satellites.

Where he was nurtured into a caring young man: in a fictional city bearing close features to New York. But hey, who doesn’t love New York?

Trustworthy teammate: a man by the name of Gear. He’s responsible for all of Static’s new gizmos, and he knows when to shut-up. More than likely smells like an oven-fresh pizza-pie.

 

There you have it, an undeniable truth that not only incriminates Sucker Punch, but puts a question mark above the whole industry. The only way I’ll expect Infamous as anything more than a below-average plagiarizing attempt is if they at least released some shocking new attire. At least then Static would get the little respect he’s due. But hey, you really expect me to pay $2.99 for a costume?

All extra tidbits that I found on Static can be found at wikipedia.org