You guys must be as boom-shakalakaed as us — why the hell was basketball great Michael Jordan never in the classic Midway arcade game NBA Jam? It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. Or, uh, at least one of life’s greatest mysteries involving arcade-style basketball games. But still: We want to know why. And so does Michael Jordan.

Luckily, a totally respectable and hard-hitting news publication actually interviewed Jordan himself to find out what he thinks. Turns out, he’s as baffled as us, as he told the paper, “I’m Michael Jordan, I should be in that game.” Damn, straight you should be. Click here to read the full story.

And on a completely unrelated note, ever wonder what the infectious Portal ditty “Still Alive” would sound like played exclusively on a college bell tower? No? What the hell is wrong with you? Well, we’ve provided a video just in case you ever get curious [via Wonderland]: