Sam Fisher's unrealistic antics in Splinter Cell: Conviction have forced me to reconsider the entire concept of a  "super spy." I mean, do people like James Bond and Fisher actually exist? Even if they did, does the presence of a highly trained agent really ensure our national security?

According to Tang, a Chinese military patrolman, America doesn't owe its state of peace and comfort to any foreign intelligence service. Instead, we should be thanking the fast food restaurants and amusement parks around the country!

Tang and his skeptical colleagues discuss the eye-opening theory in the original Splinter Cell: