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groupspawnJust in case getting coupons for big discounts hasn’t won you over to group buying site Groupon, chief executive Andrew Mason announced some extra incentive today: The company is offering to send your kid to college.

To make that happen, Groupon has launched Grouspawn, a dating site based around Groupons. The idea is that you and the mother or father of your future child must use a Groupon for your first date, as proved by taking a photo with your Groupon and the day’s newspaper while you’re out on that date. Then, if you make a baby, you can send the photo in and apply for a college scholarship for the child funded by Groupon. The company says the scholarship will be awarded twice a year.

If this sounds totally insane to you, keep in mind that Groupon has already launched one crazy challenge, asking a user to survive on Groupons for one year. And it’s pretty clear this is meant as a tongue-in-cheek promotion rather than a dating service that Groupon expects to take off. In fact, when the Grouspawn demo on-stage at the TechCrunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco seemed to stall, Mason seemed unconcerned.

“It’s basically a dating site,” he explained.

Since it’s basically a joke, will Groupon actually make good if you apply for a college scholarship? Well, let’s look at some answers from the Groupspawn Frequently Asked Questions page:

Q: Is this real?
A: Yes. Unlike the moon landing, Grouspawn is for real. It’s really real. For real.

Q: What happens after I apply for the grant?
A: Our crack team of nosy researchers will investigate if you have, in fact, gestated a true Grouspawn. This may include talking to friends and family, delving into your personal life, and taking samples of fluids you didn’t even know you had. By the time your spawn turns 18, college will cost a million dollars a second and will be located inside the moon, so it’s worth it.

Q: What does this cost?
A: Nothing. Grouspawn’s dating service, like love, is literally worthless.


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