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I think every conflict in Middle-earth can be boiled down to two sides trying to out-epic each other in grandiosity, power, and theme song.

Video Blips:

• An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into a bar in The Lord of the Rings: War in the North and proceed to start an orc smackdown. OK, there's no bars in the game, but they still go Popeye on any evil they encounter.

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Continue after the break for a creature from Darkspore named after our closest celestial neighbor, the upgraded look and attitude of Bionic Commando: Rearmed 2, and Bit.Trip Flux's homage to all things retro.

 

• Meet Darkspore's Andromeda, a gravity specialist that looks like a Sea-Monkey crossed with Sailor Moon. At least she doesn't kill enemies with the power of love. That would be a little too much.

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• Bionic Commando: Rearmed 2 gives Nathan "Rad" Spencer some new upgrades, including a slick powerstache. That enabling strip of facial hair allows Spencer to moonlight as a firefighter, apprentice firefighter, or a firefighter stripper if he so chooses.

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• Commander Video's final journey comes back to the roots of gaming in Bit.Trip Flux. If the jovial music doesn't elicit some emotion, you've probably resigned from the human race.

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