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The lights have been turned down, the speakers silenced, and the journalists are still complaining. E3 has come and gone. What better way to celebrate the end of the “Superbowl of Video Games” than with bad poetry? And seriously, let’s never use that expression again.

The Sony E3 press conference went a little something like this:

Jack Tretton was first to the stand,
With visionary David Cage in hand.
A game called Beyond,
Ellen Page, her hair gone.
Play Beyond?” Now, I understand!

PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale
Makes characters enemies and pals.
Everyone knows,
It’s Super Smash Bros.
A good game to copy, I allow.

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Assassin’s Creed 3 is on a boat,
Brand new ways to kill some red coats.
Avast me matey,
Wait, there’s a lady?
Extra Vita game to promote.

Another Far Cry is being made,
A debt to its roots has been paid.
4-player co-op
Was overwrought,
Will it get lots of store credit on a trade?

PlayStation Plus unveiled more perks,
Making other pay services look like jerks.
With PlayStation Move
They have something to prove
Like maybe the games should work?

Playstation All Stars Battle Royale at E3 2012 Press Conference

There is no IP that is hotter,
So how can we douse it with water?
We’ll take a look,
With Wonderbook.
A buzz kill for Harry Potter.

Kratos is back from fire and soot,
Starting off at the base of the foot.
Larger than life,
Mythical strife.
Just wait until you see its boot.

The Last of Us got cheers from the place,
Showing the end of the human race.
Trouble for two.
What do we do?
Of course! Shoot ’em all in the face!

Why not check out the limericks that round up the Microsoft and Nintendo press conferences?

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