Nathan Drake Subway

The video game industry is littered with great characters, but they’re often a bit … well, one-dimensional. They usually show up in adventure after adventure doing the same exact things, acting the same exact way, even saying the same exact lines. So it’s fun to see some of the biggest icons in virtual entertainment act out of character, even if just for the sake of crude, not-safe-for-work entertainment.

“50 Shades of Grey” is an erotic novel known for explicit scenes of bondage and sadism. Duke Nukem is a game character known for saying macho one liners and the word “balls.” So what happens if Duke Nukem narrates “50 Shades of Grey?” Hilarity, my friends. Absolute hilarity.

The action-adventure series Uncharted has made a name for itself with its likable and well-acted hero, Nathan Drake. But does he become a bit less endearing when he’s shilling for Subway? Yes. Yes he does. Let’s never speak of this again.

The Mario Bros. are arguably the most popular duo in all of gaming, but they’re not the only famous pair of brothers in history. I mean, the Wright Bros. have some claim to fame themselves, having invented the airplane and all that. Well, how do we decide the superior team? With a rap battle, of course!

Ganondorf is one of the meanest meanies in the history of mean. This Legend of Zelda villain delights in kidnapping princesses and enslaving entire worlds in darkness. There’s no way he could ever reform himself, right? Right?

Diablo is, by definition, the devil. Sure, we love his games because it taps into our basic need to slay hordes of demons while collecting shiny objects, but there’s certainly nothing “jolly” about the experience. So why would anyone ever want to make a Christmas song parody sung by the Lord of Terror? I have no idea, but I’m glad they did.

Oh, look! Nathan Drake isn’t the only commercial whore! Here’s Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series enjoying some sort of Japanese energy drink. Hey, if someone is going to try to sell me things, it may as well be a suicidal soldier with a bizarre aging problem.