So the Mitt Romney VP-prediction app is now available. Yee-haw.

It’s all very exciting, I’m sure … checking which potential candidates have the most Wikipedia edits, assuming that their public profile is being cleaned up and groomed by armies of handlers, and making a prediction.

Romney VP predictorOnly available on Android. Get your Google Play on now!

But I’m a little Romney’d out. I mean, just pick someone already. Chris, Condy, Petraeus, Marco. Flip a coin. Toss a dart.

Romney already has his own “Mitt’s VP” app out on iTunes, which performs the singularly un-useful and uninteresting function of informing you who he’s picking for veep about three seconds before the rest of the world.

I mean, this is why we have computers that fit in the palm of your hand and networks that connect us at nearly the speed of light?

It’s more fun than watching Olympics. More electrifying than Usain Bolt. Or at least better than the magnetic stage presence of that masterful public orator, IOC president Jaques Rogge.

Tugs at my heart-strings too. The app informs me that I could be the second one to know … just after the presidential candidate’s wife, Ann. (I think they may have forgotten about the VP candidate him or herself.)

Apple, isn’t there an app review process in Cupertino anymore? Can’t we just swap this out for yet another fart app?

It all reminds me of LeBron James leaving Cleveland.

Staged, managed, built up for maximum effect, milked for every ounce of publicity that can possibly be squeezed out of the utterly mundane process of picking a stooge for possibly the least powerful position in U.S. government.

Guess it worked again.

Above: Mitt’s who-will-it-be VP app

Image Credit: Apple

Image credit: Paul Fleet/ShutterStock