You are all irresponsible slobs who cannot accept your own sexuality.

At least that’s the impression about gamers I got from the trailer for the upcoming film Noobz. This feature, due in theaters on Jan. 25 and DVD on Jan. 29, follows a trio of pro gamers who can’t seem to reconcile their gaming abilities with reality.

Sounds wacky!

My favorite part? The closeted homosexual character with the gamer tag “Fraggett.”  If he’s closeted, how’d he get that handle? This would be totally fine if the character was out and showing pride. But as the trailer presents it, the play on words seems malicious.

Just watch:

That is some powerful stupid. The original trailer for Noobz hit YouTube very early in 2012, which suggests that the studio held it up because it knows it’s terrible. Movie studios often dump their worst stuff off in January.

And in case you missed it, the film hits DVD four days after arriving in theaters — so, yeah, this sounds like a winner.

I don’t want to judge too harshly before I see it … but I’m lying. I’ve already judged this crap.

All of the women in the trailer are either overbearing girlfriends or in their underwear. All of the guys are either dudebro man-babies or Casper Van Dien. All of the jokes are recycled gags from The Big Bang Theory or one of the lesser National Lampoon films.

I hate it.