Today’s funding roundup brings two interesting views on food consumption.

First, there’s a deal for Soylent, which is basically a foodie’s nightmare and reminds us all to much of the crap from The Matrix. Sure, it could save humanity, but it’s, like, gross.

Then, there’s Treatsie, yet another subscription commerce startup that brings “artisanal” candy to your gingerbread door, you creepy, child-eating witch, you. Or you could just have a sweet tooth. Whatever.

Of course, there were a bunch of other deals today, too, namely:

Sqrrl gets $5.2M

Sqrrl wants to help regular private-sector enterprises take advantage of the majorly scalable and powerful NoSQL database created by the National Security Agency. The company, which was created by contributors to that NSA database project, received $5.2 million in funding today. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Play Megaphone gets $4.3M

New York City-based startup Play Megaphone has, according to an SEC filing, completed a $4.3 million round of funding. The company focuses on digital signage and making such signage interactive. As of the last year, the MegaPhone product was being used in 43 professional sports arenas in Canada and the United States.

Panorama closes $4M round

When Aaron Feuer was in high school, he helped write a bill for students to give feedback on their classes. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the bill wasn’t enough. So he began building Panorama Education, which works with school districts to gather the requisite data they needed to improve education. Today, at the age of 22, Feuer closed $4 million in funding from Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg’s $100 million fund, Startup: Education. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Telly raises $3.4M

Telly, the video discovery service formerly called TwitVid, has raised a fresh $3.4 million investment, according to an SEC document filed today. Telly, which relaunched as a social video site back in 2011, algorithmically generates videos that interest you on Telly’s website and mobile apps, based on what your friends have liked, posted, watched, and discussed. It competes with a slew of other services that pretty much do the same thing, including the recently acquired Waywire. Read the rest on VentureBeat.

Superpedestrian launches with $2.1M
In another stunning case of life mimicking fiction, this startup birthed into vivid reality the product of Andy from Weeds: an electric bike powered by its own kinetic energy. It’s also got a bunch of sensors and crap for figuring out the temperature and humidity. It launched today out of stealth with $2.1 million in funding from Spark Capital. Read the full story on VentureBeat

Sparks Mobile raises $2M

We read today in an SEC filing that San Francisco-based startup Sparks Mobile has collected almost $2 million of a proposed $2.3 million round of funding. Only one name is listed on the filing, that of Greylock entrepreneur in residence Evan Tana. Previously, he was a VP at Shopkick and an advisor to Loopt.

OneClass gets $1.6M

Struggling students use OneClass to get a third party perspective on their notes. The company received $1.6 million in funding today to help them get to those A’s. The website lets students sign up to get access to thousands of study materials, course notes, video tutorials, and more in order to help improve their grades. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Soylent raises $1.5M

Food replacement product Soylent has raised $1.5 million in seed funding from Andreessen Horowitz and Lerer Ventures. Soylent is a powder mixture that allegedly contains all the nutrients humans need to survive. It started out as an experiment but quickly attracted a big following (and controversy) and raised over a million dollars in a crowdfunding campaign. This seed financing will help the company scale out its manufacturing and improve the product. Read more on VentureBeat.

Futurelyrics takes $1M

Futurelytics filed with the SEC today for a $1 million round of funding. The Delaware-bsed company does — you guessed it — analytics. Specifically, big data-based analytics for ecommerce businesses. The startup previously participated in European accelerator Seedcamp.

Treatsie raises $300K

Subscription service for fancy candy Treatsie has raised $300K, according to an SEC filing. The Arkansas-based company sends people sample boxes of artisanal candy for $15 a month. It features a new set of confectioners each month and full sizes of the items can be purchased a la carte on the site. Cofounders Keith Hoelzeman and Jamie Walden are listed on the filing. Read the SEC filing.

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