Mike: You weren’t at the top of the jump.

Mom: Yes I was!

Mike: No you weren’t! You hit the wall!

Mom: What do you —

Mike: When you’re on the top here, then do it, and then the dash. Jump, and then dash. See? Look out!

[The ceiling starts caving. My mom stands still and dies.]

Escape Goat 2

Above: Those falling blocks got my mom good.

Image Credit: GamesBeat

Mom: Oh, I need to move!

Mike: You saw them falling. Don’t just stand there!

Mom: I thought I had a shield around me.

Mike: Why do you think you’d have a shield around you? You’re just a goat!

Mom: Because these games have shields on people!

Mike: Well, do it again, but this time keep moving so you don’t get killed.

[My mom gets through on her next try.]

Mike: Keep going, keep going, keep going. OK, see? See what that sleeping thing is.

Mom: It’s a turkey.

Mike: Well, see if it does something. I wonder why it’s there.

[My mom picks up the sleeping animal.]

Mike: See, you have a friend now.

Mom: A turkey?

Mike: Maybe it’s a chicken. Oh, push B.

Mom: Which one’s B?

[She finds the red button, pushes it, and a little mouse starts crawling in front of her.]

Mom: It’s a mouse.

Mike: See, look at that. He can go through that small space you couldn’t get through earlier.

This map gives you an idea of how many levels are in Escape Goat 2. My mom got through five.

Above: This map gives you an idea of how many levels are in Escape Goat 2. My mom got through five.

Image Credit: GamesBeat

Mom:  Where’d he go?

Mike: When you push B, he comes back to you, I guess.

Mom: OK, now where am I?

Mike: Go back down there and let your mouse friend hit that button for you.

Mom: That didn’t do anything.

Mike: Yes it did. It moved all those things.

[My mom eventually gets a key, which unlocked a door on the other side of the level.]

Mike: That door’s easy to get to. Why are you sighing so much?

Mom: The door should be right there! I’m not trying to tell you how to do your game, Ian, but …

Mike: All right, a couple more levels.

Mom: I’ve got a headache. Now what am I doing?

Mike: Break those boxes, like you did before with your dash. Only the wood ones. Yeah. OK. Break those boxes. You’d better get on that ledge and jump first. There you go. What do you think you should do here?

Mom: Hm. I’ve got a headache. Can I get my mouse friend back?

Mike: Yeah. See, look, there he goes.

Mom: Ha, ha, ha!

Mike: You figured it out.

Mom: I’m not as dumb as I look.

Escape Goat 2

Above: My mom’s mouse friend helped her a lot in this level.

Image Credit: GamesBeat

Mike: All right, now you can go right.

Mom: Ooh, what’d he do?

Mike: He just came back to you.

Mom: What’s this little thing?

Mike: It’s just a block. What are you doing?

Mom: I’m trying to get up here.

Mike: No, hit that wood block. There you go.

Mom: Now where am I going to go?

Mike: I don’t know. What do you think you should do?

Mom: I think I’m stuck.

Mike: No. What do you do when you’re stuck?

Mom: I hit my mouse.

Mike: Yep!

[My mom beats that level.]

Mom: Good. My eyes are getting goofy.

Mike: Your eyes are getting goofy?

Mom: Yeah, like strained.

Mike: It’s just like watching TV.

Mom: No, it’s not.