I regret to inform our readers that an industry giant has declared bankruptcy. SkyMall had delighted bored passengers since 1990 with the whimsical designs of garage inventors, who selflessly lived to end the last remnants of inconvenience. Magazines all around the world are hurting, but SkyMall seemed to have a brilliantly selected captive audience, between the time that flight attendants forced us to shut off our iPhones and when we hit cruising altitude.

But then, a bitterly selfish American public demanded that airlines not force us to shut off our phones before takeoff, because, technically speaking, there was not a shred of scientific proof that they interfere with flight dynamics. The FAA’s ruling last year was the nail in the coffin of this innocent magazine.

Let us remember their most whimsical gadgets one last time.

The ballerz baby bottle

babybottle

Never lose your beer again with a beer pager

beer pager

The hands-free parent

handsfree

Never-fail appreciation with laughter and applause in a box

laughter box

All tattoo, no pain, with the tattoo T-shirt

fauxshirt

+1,000 points for best name without violating copyright: The Siamese Slanket

diameseslaket

For the classy pet owner, a custom cat portrait

catportrait

Sperm shoes, because, why not?

spermshoes

Because dogs were not meant to get wet

doggie raincoat

An $85,000 personal shark boat (with video!)

sharkboat

For the tasteful, yet confident alcoholic

wineglass

I think I speak for all humankind when I say that we will miss you, SkyMall … so much.