Valentine’s Day is not only a day for celebrating love — it’s also a day for celebrating my love.
February 14 is the anniversary of the day I met my partner (yes, we are that perfect!) And this year, dear readers, I am working on this most special of days.
But so I don’t miss out on all of the festivities, I am delegating my Valentine’s Day responsibilities to the on-demand economy — should it choose to accept this mission.
Here’s my planned schedule. If you’re wise, you’ll consider outsourcing your errands, too.
9 a.m.: While my lover is out for a jog (err, hanging his head over the toilet as recompense for overstaying at last night’s happy hour), put together a stylish Valentine’s Day card on Paperless Post. This way, you neither have to go to the store or waste paper and can still tell your person you love and appreciate them!
10 a.m.: Since your baby has been working out so hard this morning, surely you both deserve something nice. Forgo roses and chocolates and instead pop open the Zeel app and set appointments for a couples massage later today.
11 a.m.: It’s time to start thinking about that amazing dinner you’re going to cook. Open up WunWun and order two steaks from your local butcher, potatoes, broccoli rabe, and, of course, a bottle of 1995 Bordeaux from St. Emilion!
*If cooking isn’t your thing, you could order-in via Seamless or Caviar. Dinner reservations are off the table this late in the game.
Noon: Book an appointment with Glamsquad for a blow-out at your home around 7:45 p.m. Sometimes looking your best means hiring an objective opinion with a killer hair dryer.
2 p.m.: Decide that you maybe don’t want to do the cooking yourself. You consider Task Rabbit and then realize that good help might be just too hard to find and dream about the day that UberCHEF returns.
3 p.m.: Your groceries arrive.
5 p.m.: Your massage arrives. Enjoy!
*6 p.m.: Receive dry cleaning from FlyCleaners.
7 p.m.: Pour yourself a
box of glassed wine glass of boxed wine leftover from a dinner party, throw on your apron, and get cooking.
7:30 p.m.: While your steaks are resting, hop in the shower ahead of your Glamsqaud appointment.
8 p.m.: Glamsquad arrives. Get pretty.
8:30 p.m.: Once you’re all dolled-up, pull your food out of the oven, plate it, and settle down to dinner.
9:30 p.m.: During your meal, you and your love decide you simply must have after-dinner drinks at [insert absurdly over priced cocktail establishment].
11 p.m.: Call a Uber and bid adieu to your darling cat named kitten. Tonight is for lovers.
*Protip: Have your clothes picked up on Thursday so that they can be delivered to you ahead of your usual Saturday night festivities. Alternatively, you can Rent-the-Runway.