My PlayStation 4 Pro has a playable copy of Konami’s abandoned P.T. horror experience. I’m one of the lucky people who downloaded and saved the game before the publisher removed it from the store. And yet, I don’t think I can ever play it again after what I’ve learned.

P.T. community hacker Lance McDonald revealed some truly disturbing things about how the game works on Twitter last night. The reason it often feels like the demonic ghost Lisa is right behind you is because she always is.

“In P.T., it’s common to hear noises as if Lisa is right behind you, or see weird shadows moving around in front of you,” reads Mcdonald’s tweets. “But when you turn around, there’s nothing there. I hacked the game to allow the player to see behind them without actually turning around….”

And he found that she’s always following the player. She just stays connected to your back no matter where you look. McDonald used another camera trick to reveal just how creepy this really is:

Yeah, screw that.

I’m already a coward, but P.T. had enough mystique to convince me to try it. Konami released P.T. in 2014 as a “playable teaser” for its new Silent Hills horror game. The company then canceled Silent Hills in 2015 and pulled P.T. off PlayStation Network. You can no longer get the free game or download it from PSN. But if you have it on your PS4 already, it still works.

Although, how do I know it really still works if I’m never going to turn it on again? No way can I walk through those hallways knowing a damn corpse is floating behind me at all times.

Great, now I’m thinking about what if that’s happening to me in real life, and I need to go cry naked in a holy water bath.