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"You are the best. You are the worst. You are average. Your love is a part of you. You try to give it away because you cannot bear its radiance, but you cannot separate it from yourself. To understand your fellow humans, you must understand why you give them your love. You must realize that hate is but a crime-ridden subdivision of love. You must reclaim what you never lost. You must take leave of your sanity, and yet be fully responsible for your actions." -Gnarls Barkley, in a letter to the legendary rock critic Lester Bangs
It's been quite a couple of months, kiddies. My diarrhea of the soul has continued uninterrupted for some time since I last spoke in a direct fashion to my adoring fan. (You know who you are) I'm sure you all enjoyed me just randomly talking about stuff you don't understand instead of being strait with you but now you have to listen to me bitch again.
I cannot claim to be pure and full of virtue for posting this. I have felt the sting of failure once again and it stings like a jellyfish bite. So I am as usual a mopey and petty person in response. In the mail however I was thrown a life preserver. That new Gorillaz album is as awesome as the last.
I am often times rejuvenated by being reminded by great art like this music that I'm not the only person who feels threatened by the world around me….and yet still wants to be here because I find it so wonderful. So I come here bringing a message of how I feel at this moment. Equal parts hope and contempt. I wish to destroy so that it might be rebuilt. A selfish mentality for sure but I would hope that you all can understand.
Bitmob is great, don't get me wrong. Pat yourselves on the back for supporting an idea that was one of those 'why didn't i think of that?' strokes of pure awesome. That's the sign of genius seeing what was already there and making something great of it.
Still just like the people that comprise it, it is not perfect. The charming little hole in the ground that has been fashioned out of blood, sweat and Internet is not an escape from the real world. It is a part of it. Full of all the same self serving motivations, politics, and ridiculous misunderstandings that make up the world at large.
This is the wild west and not everyone is a nice cowhand or the sheriff. I am here because I see potential, and I wish to hurt you all out of love. I want to challenge you all because I am hearing too much satisfaction. Satisfaction breeds complacency and contempt for change. Which I will not tolerate. So I must be intolerant.
Before I do so I figure I must finally introduce myself so that when I show my tough love you know where it is coming from.
So who is Mi? What makes me Mi? Why the hell is Jeffrey Sandlin involved? Let us answer some of these questions for the charming youth of the Bitmob Nation (never call yourselves that)
Mi is a fake name, of course. I have given up my real name out of protest. Why would I do such a thing? What am I protesting?
I'm protesting being alive.
I am a vicious and horrible person who is so focused on having lost everything that I can no longer replace the things I've lost with something new. Family, love, god, country, hope, trust, any one of these things you can claim to have I have lost and I do my best to not hate those of you who still have them.
It doesn't always work out, though. You are all such insufferably lucky bastards and don't know the wonders you are missing by losing everything. It's as liberating as it is horrible…and yet makes all of your faces seem imminently punchable.
I am not proud of this fact. Still I must be realistic. I am me. I am Mi? Get it? Pretty fucking clever right? (i know it isn't really) I used to be a normal person. Those days are gone and I will not pay tribute to them with a name given to me by ghosts.
So that's why you see me handing these posts off to Jeffrey Sandlin to post. He's a bit of a short out himself and he doesn't have much to say anyway so I take up some space on his blog since Bitmob doesn't give blogs to fake people with fake names. It's a very important rule to keep people honest.
But are you all honest? Really? I don't trust you. A real name does not equal honesty it just equals Internet accountability. People can be polite and forthcoming and supportive and still not be honest. It's so easy to be nice but it's hard to give someone your trust and understanding. Still it's the only currency worth tossing around here. Who gives a shit about pats on the back? Provide real support! Love your fellow Bitmobber and you shall be loved in return.
I love Bitmob. I love every last one of you crazy bastards. Still I love you so much I want to hurt you. Forgive me for getting all 'crime of passion' on your ass. You can do better. We can be focusing on so much more then just amusing ourselves. In order to do that we have to band together, we have to set aside concepts like who is better then who and who is right and just really care about each other and our culture.
Never do the easy thing when you can do something wonderful. I am sick of Bitmob's content feeling static. Their needs to be a revolution of crazy needless energy and ambition without boundries. Collaboration, experimentation, and various other kinds of ation.
Bitmob is not a flame war, Bitmob is not a meaningless fluff site, but Bitmob is not yet a perfect jewel where everyone can be read and helped and awesome. So work harder and don't treat this place like any other blog site. The point of having hope is to set impossible goals so that you can reach the realistic goals in the the middle through sheer bloody minded determination.
Celebrity worship is a dead end. All the people who seem to be doing really well are just doing the same thing we all are. Expressing themselves and hoping this experiment works out. Take your place along side them and drag every last wonderful bit of potential you have out to bear. Never be afraid to do something because you aren't one of the big boys. The big boys would get boring without the back up.
I honestly don't think it will work out if people focus their attention only on the 'cream of the crap'. Everyone has something to say and Bitmob is Bitmob, not Bitsmallgroupofpeoplewhoarereallywellliked. So you readers should spread the love.
Find things you didn't know you wanted to read by people you've never heard of and then read them. Then give the people who wrote them something more then the jabbering silence of their own mind to talk to. Comments people. Comments! While you are at it if their is a single gamer in your life who doesn't read this site then drag them here and sit them down in front of some awesome nobodies hard work!
Things can always be better and I'll be here cheering and booing in equal measure until this site changes what it means to write about games into something to be proud of instead of a tepid attempt to emulate journalism and film writing. It's already on the way so lets not be held back by being afraid to take stupid risks or click on stuff that takes stupid risks.
These critiques of course come from my own problems and dislikes of the site, still I wouldn't voice them if I thought that I was the only one who was dissatisfied. I can't be the only one that wants Bitmob to improve in this way, right? Be honest!
Mi is feeling: Hopeful
Mi is listening to: To binge-Gorillaz