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Red Dead Redemption may be the most under-anticipated game of the year. Talk to people who game but don't follow the industry. The average consumer really doesn't know about this game or its ability to turn a whole new audience onto gaming. That is to say, RDR may grab the redneck and 40+ male demographic who are not generally into gaming or them-there-gadgets (TVs).


I am a product of watching TV in the 80's. Most of my favorite shows were cartoons and action shows were made in this decade but when nothing new was on I watched syndicated western left-overs from previous decades. The reason Red Dead Redemption is my most anticipated game of the year is that it fulfills my childhood fantasies with an adult story line.

This is my story of John Marsten.


I may be the only person my that ever wanted to live on the Ponderosa Ranch just to beat the shit out of Adam and Lil' Joe Cartwright in every episode because they were just cowboy posers chasing women. Hoss, Pa and I would teach them about being honorable cattlemen and gunslingers. We would save Virginia City from people who might hurt the weak.


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After I am framed for a murder (hopefully of Adam, Joe or both), I may go off to live by myself in the mountains making friends with the wild life and some crazy ass hole. Oh, and did I tell you I'm getting a huge beard and a fucking GRIZZLY BEAR!  Who needs a gun now!? I won't come off the mountain until I have an army of grizzlies.

Grizzly Adams

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I am going to hunt outlaws on the run and hermits for sport without a weapon until it is just me and Mad Jack left.  Once I am done feeding #69 (I renamed his donkey) the left overs of Jack's carcass, I'll stroll down the hill to the little house on the prairie for some long awaited human love'n.

Little House on the Prairie

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Teaching them to swallow is much harder.


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Hello you dirty girls


I'll come into town on MY new blinged out burro riding side-saddle, to show off my hermit scalp boots, and the blonde bad-girl (Nellie) will catch my eye. I'll ask her if she wants a ride. She will say, "I'd ride you to the moon." And we get it on.

After quickly tiring of her complaining nature, I will send her home strapped to a bear and introduce myself to the girl next door, Laura Ingalls. I'll do my best Lil' Joe impression by laying the mack on her with comments like, "nice pig tails", "Nellie is pretty hot. I'll bet SHE would do what you won't" and "you should see my hay loft".

I would then propose the near impossible. "Hey Laura, I have a bottle of whiskey and your sister is hot. Wanna Menage?"

reverse cowgirl

Not in my story.


Only after living the dream will I take my battalion of bears and harem of women and play the story line.