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On my travels to the wild northwest of Ohio that is Toledo, I found myself in an extremely hot shower, eyes closed and attempting to shake off the drudges that come along with a night sleep. I could feel the light coming in through the window has mid morning pulled through and my seemingly fugue state washed down the drain along with the steaming hot pellets of water that rained down.

Then, I heard a yelling. I quickly jumped out from my protective shell of steam, threw on my clothes, and ran downstrairs to see what the problem was. Little did I know that what I saw would astound, shock, and confuse me.

My girlfriend, with another guy, a girl, and…. an elf?

Wait, what?

My Thoughts, Exactly.

Dragon Age, much like other Bioware RPGs that have popped up over the years allows you a lot of freedom in terms of interactions with your own party members. Of course, Bioware has taken this to an even greater level by adding in achievements and trophies based around doing the "biznaazzz", so to speak with the various members of your party.

Rachel had recently revived her Dragon Age save, a game she hadn't played since we began dating and finally found the vigor to play the title again after craving an RPG, like I would crave steak.

Mmm. Steak. Erm… Anyways…

Rachel informed me that her yelling of verbal slurs came from the fact that Allistair was a complete prude and wouldn't give it up. For those of you who may be confused, allow me to explain. Your character has a reputation meter with each of your party members. In order to lay some sweet, sweet loving on the characters in question that meter must be at a certain height. The meter can be raised through in game events, giving said character special gifts, or by talking to them about themselves.

That's Right, You're An Asshole, Allistair.

You know, just like in real life. Duh.

Apparently, my dear lady had spent the morning attempting to bed the Grey Warden, Allistair, to no avail. I could relate, as I had stopped playing Dragon Age earlier in the year over my frustrations that Leliana (another character, a female bard).

So, I did what any sensible man in a loving, committed relationship would do…

I sat down, and yelled at the screen with her as we chided the dumb little virgin to nail us.

Isn't true love grand?