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Dance Central

Well, this is embarrassing.

A few years ago my kneecap popped out quite suddenly and unexpectedly while I was drinking with some friends at Barcade in Brooklyn. It wasn't just a little popped out either. When I fell to the floor and collapsed against a nearby Tapper cabinet, I assumed my leg had just mysteriously broken. Whatever was going on, all I could tell was that something was jutting out of my leg by several inches.

An ambulance ride and two hours of agony later, a doctor popped my kneecap back in and sent me home limping, swollen, but relatively fine. My hope was that it would never happen again.

Fast forward to about a week ago. Kinect came out and Dance Central looked awesome — I had to get one. I ordered it from Amazon, and it arrived a couple days later. Kinect Adventures got boring pretty quickly and the dashboard was a disappointment, but Dance Central ended up being everything I hoped for. I loved it so much I started playing it every chance I got. I twisted and contorted that knee for hours on end. I probably had this coming.


So my friends and I got together to play it, and we were having a blast. Everyone was drinking, laughing, and our dance moves ranged from smooth and sexy to hilariously spastic. I landed somewhere in the middle, at least until I landed on the floor after one knee jerk too many dancing to "Teach Me How To Jerk."

Here's the song in question. It explains a lot:

[embed: ]

"Not again!" I shouted in agony, hitting the floor and scaring the hell out of everyone in the room.

"Joe, are you okay?"


"Should I call an ambulance?"


I tried popping it back in again, but it wouldn't budge. Between the pain and the room full of terrified friends, I could see this would be another long night. The paramedics arrived to a room full of beer bottles, a Kinect, and me collapsed in the middle of it all. A police officer picked up the game and joked that he'd have to take it in for evidence.

And yes, once again, I endured hours of agony just so a doctor could finally pop it back in — hours of my knee looking like this:

Busted Knee from Kinect

So, I'm pretty sure that despite all the incidents of parents clubbing their kids in the head during Kinect Adventures or people smacking low-hanging objects into their TVs, I'm the first moron that paramedics had to carry out of a house on a stretcher.

PS: Dance Central is still awesome, and I'm still going to play the hell out of it once my knee is better.

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