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Sorry, but this is going to be a bit of a rant.

Dead Rising 2 is a great game in a lot of ways. When you're running around, annihilating zombies with every conceiveable object (or combination of objects) at your disposal, and otherwise causing a ruckus, the game is a real blast. The story is enjoyable, the gameplay rocks, the survivors are no longer the infuriating morons of the first Dead Rising, and everything seems just peachy.


This is fun. More of this.

Welcome to the Dumbest Boss Fights of This Generation. I hope you've stocked up on orange juice and boring, high damaging, quick attacking weapons like bats and lead pipes, because you're in for a monotonous few minutes. Every single boss in the game seems tailor-made for maximum annoyance. EVERY ONE knocks you down if you get close, and then laughs, as if a spiritual extension of the sadistic design team. EVERY ONE seems to have devastating ranged attacks. One of the bastards even heals himself, dragging the misery on for what seems an eternity.


His girth matched only by his abrasiveness.

Kiss all the skills you've been building up over the entire game goodbye. Just run up to the baddies, pummel them until they knock you down, drink orange juice, rinse, repeat. That is the strategy for every single boss in this game. It's a crying shame, really. With so many great gameplay mechanics at their disposal, it seems a team as talented as the folks at Blue Castle Games would be able to come up with some interesting boss encounters. Maybe let us use some of the zombie-killing expertise we've been honing?

Just one concrete example, that is indicitive of every battle in the game:

Imagine a bathroom. The walls are lined with stalls. Now some jackhole keeps jumping out of the top of these when you run by, knocking you down and doing incredible damage. He then runs back into a stall. You can't open the stalls. You get no real indication of where he's going to jump out. Sometimes you can get a hit in before he goes back into hiding, if you are inordinately lucky. This goes on for what seems like hours. Maybe he dies after a few years. You pull all your hair out. The End.


The horror… The horrrooorrr… and NOT the way they intended.

Had I done a formal review, I would have given Dead Rising 2 an A+ without these boss encounters. They are so ruinous to my enjoyment, however, they would have easily knocked it down to a B-. It's ridiculous that no one in playtesting let the developers know that these encounters were such epic, turdish failures. It was such an unforgivable missed opportunity to improve on the almost identical epic failures that were Dead Rising's original boss fights.

Can't everyone just take a page from Kojima's book and pull a MGS3?