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Sony has just announced that the PS4 has sold 5.3 million units worldwide. The upcoming Japanese launch will probably push the total up to 6+ million by the end of the month.


Do you hear that Xbox?


Time is running out.

Sure, the Titanfall release will help the Xbox One out a little bit, but many PS4 buyers (myself included) will just get that game for PC.

Don’t worry. I have an excellent plan to rally the Microsoft troops in the face of darkness. There could be a day when the courage of Microsoft falls, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY.

My plan revolves around three potential games that would totally melt the faces off all who gazed upon them. My plan is ambitious. My plan is insane. My plan requires explanation and an open mind. Are you ready?

First thing’s first:


That’s right. Turok.

I am tired of zombies. Society is tired of zombies. The world is ready to be reminded of how inherently awesome dinosaurs are. I can think of no better way to do this then with a Turok reboot.

I have prepared a simple and precise flow chart for Microsoft to follow in order to gain the rights to such a historic franchise:

Turok flow chart

The timing is perfect too. A new comic series is already underway, and there are still whispers of a film adaptation.

Maybe Sony gets a little pissed at this ingenious plan and calls up Capcom…

Sony: Hello? Capcom? This is Sony. We need to talk.

Capcom: Oh hey buddy. How’s it going?

S: Not good. Xbox is bringing back Turok. This could totally screw us. What are you doing right now?

C: Uh, now isn’t a good time. We are still working on Deep Down, and we are still brainstorming ways we could bastardize the Resident Evil franchise…

S: Halt all operations. We must begin work on a new Dino Crisis game immediately.

C: mother of god

And thus begins the great dinosaur battle of 2014. The competition would encourage both to put out a superior product. There could be multiplayer modes in which players team up to take down massive dinosaurs.

Plus, kids and young adults will be learning about history. Dinosaurs are huge, fast and awesome. They were also real. We have a record of them. You could park Junior in front of Turok or Dino Crisis and teach him some paleontology.

Zombies are regular-sized, slow, and boring. They are not real. There is nothing to learn from them.

As for my dream developer? I am going to go with Crystal Dynamics for this project.

I think Turok should definitely have that Tomb Raider feel. There should be a million quick time events (I will count). I mean Turok should leap onto a T-Rex’s back and shoot him in the dome a few times. The Rex hates that, so he starts flailing and you have to press like 8 buttons to hold on and slide down his body and tail to escape. Can you see it?

The dinosaurs should also be as realistic as possible. I don’t want them hyper intelligent or cartoony. Regular dinosaurs will be scary enough thank you very much.

I would prefer a first-person viewpoint, but I could see how a third-person setup would be beneficial.

How does this fix Xbox One’s frame rate and resolution issues? How can a reboot of a decent game save a console?


Alright, fine. You are a nonbeliever. I have a few backup plans for just such an occasion…

Super sweet Robocop game:


The title is self-explanatory. We put together a sick Robocop game.

The new mobile game that came out with the film was decent, but it is not enough.

It can be a black Robocop like in the movie. Or, better yet, it has nothing to do with the movie and it creates its own world loosely based on Robocop lore and principles.

I say we have Naughty Dog or Monolith put together a dark, single-player experience in futuristic Detroit.

Your character shoots bad guys, but he also does some sneaking around and some genuine detective work. You can activate scanners in your visor to help you look for clues like in the Condemned games or L.A. Noire. 

If not Turok, then surely Robocop: Hammer of Justice will be the title that rallies the Xbox One.

“But Rory, the Robocop version of a futuristic dystopia in which the world’s cities have been overtaken by vicious criminals is flawed. Its science is not the true science!”

That is a fair point concerned onlooker. Do not fret. I have something for you too…

Original Judge Dredd Reboot:


This is not to be confused with the recent film reboot, which was originally titled “Karl Urban dons Judge Dredd costume and reenacts The Raid: Redemption” That title wouldn’t fit on a movie poster.

No, I am talking about the original comic/arcade game/Rob Schneider classic.

It is time to have the good people at Bethesda Game Studios put together a single player Judge Dredd title that mirrors Fallout 3.

The plot pretty much writes itself. Dredd has been betrayed and stripped of his rank. The game picks up in the prison colony where he was sent to die. Except he isn’t going to die– he is going to get even.

This completely bypasses the clumsy story pitfalls that are often presented at the beginning of RPGs.

“Oh, you used to be a badass. But uh, you forgot. No! You had your powers taken from you! Yeah, that’s it”

Dredd was a badass, but he had all of his gadgets taken away and was sent to a prison planet full of people that want to kill him. Now, he has to use his bare hands to punch his way back to Earth. It is foolproof.


Well, there you have it. All Microsoft needs to do is seize one (or all… can you imagine?!) of these fabulous opportunities. They cover all demographics, by which I mean there is something for people who like dinosaurs and people who like hyper-violent crime movies set in the not-so-distant future.

I, like 99% of the world, fall into both categories. However, I don’t judge the other people who fall into one but not the other. You are the 1%, and I hope you stay strong in your beliefs.

Feel free to thank me or offer compensation in the comments. I check them every 5 minutes.

Originally posted to Corrupted Cartridge.