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This pitch VentureBeat received today easily takes the cake. Or as the case may be, the chocolate covered Jesus:

“We are pleased to introduce our debut product- a seven-inch dark chocolate Jesus on a cross, sprinkled with sea salt. This novelty gift will be cherished forever or till eaten by your loved ones. Future product offerings from this same line will include a cream & fruit-filled Virgin Mary, a baby Jesus flavor trio, and a liqueur-filled head of John the Baptist….and we have many other plans beyond the spiritual!”

And now for some funding news.

Quirky lands another $79M to build even more strange connected gadgets

Quirky, the maker of the Pivot Power, is raising more money to build the future of weird connected devices. The New York City-based company, which crowdsources product development from prototype to reality, has raised $79.3 million in a fourth funding round led by Andreessen Horowitz, Norwest Venture Partners, RRE, and Kleiner Perkins Caulfield & Byers. Oh, and let’s not forget General Electric, which contributed a huge $30 million to the round. Read more on VentureBeat.

Redvision sees green with $10M investment

Redvision has raised a $10 million round of financing led by Edison Ventures and Updata Partners. RedVision provides title and property research solutions for over 1,600 customers in the real estate industries, including lenders, title underwriters, agents, attorneys, and firms. Clients use it for complete and accurate title searches and can quickly access real estate data such as courthouse records, appraiser values, and tax data.

PasswordBox raises $6M so people don’t steal your stuff

PasswordBox has raised $6 million for its password management solution. People don’t want to remember a wide range of username and password combinations, even though it increases security. Password box generates a different, secure password for your accounts and is single place to store, retrieve, and share them on multiple devices. OMERS Ventures led this round, with participation from angel investors.

Ezoic zips up $5.6M to make websites more appealing to reader

Ezoic has raised $5.6 million for its technology that gives publishers an automatic way to improve their site layout and advertising revenue. Ezoic conducts “multivariate testing” which continuously tests different layouts of the same content to see what consumers respond the most to. Balderton Capital and New Amsterdam Capital led this round, with participation from private investors.  Read more. 

Walkbase raises $4M to tell physical retailers how you shop

Marketing optimisation platform for brick & mortar retailers Walkbase, secured $4 million in Series A funding from SBT Venture Capital and Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo, former CEO of Nokia. Walkbase helps businesses measure and understand their customers and how they jump between online and offline channels while shopping.

HDmessaging puts $3M in its arsenal to fight against messaging app upstarts

Mobile messaging company HDmessaging announced today that it has closed $3m in funding to accelerate its already impressive growth. The investment was led by GrandBanks Capital, with participation from IDG Ventures, Nexit Ventures and Lighthouse Capital Partners. HD messing provides a white label messaging service to mobile operators to combat the threat of messaging apps like WhatsApp and WeChat.

Selligy snags $2.8M to help out salespeople in the field

Selligy, a customer relationship management (CRM) app for iPhone, aims to make salespeople more effective by automating much of the sales process. And, the CRM giant, appears to like it. Belmont, Calif.-based Selligy just raised a $2.8 million funding round led by Draper Fisher Jurvetson (DFJ) with participation from Salesforce, Alchemist Accelerator, and several angel investors. Read more on VentureBeat.

Yapta’s price-tracking tech could save corporations millions on airfare

Yapta announced today that it has raised an additional $2 million in funding as part of its Series D financing round, bringing the toto to $6.2 million.. Yapta‘s airfare price-tracking technology helps you get the best price for a flight. The engine continually monitors flight prices, and you set up custom alerts to receive push notifications when a fare drops. It also helps you get refunds after you buy tickets.  Amadeus and Concur participated. Read more. 

Jongla has $1.8M jingling in its pockets

Finnish messaging startup Jongla closed $1.8M in financing to continue development of its products. There are boatloads of messaging apps out there, and Jongla aims to distinguish itself  through personalization features, such as the ability to add interactive stickers and animations. Oy Ingman Finance Ab led this round, with participation from angel investors.

Carousell wants you to sell stuff on  your phone

Mobile marketplace Carousell has raised a $800K seed investment from Rakuten, Golden Gate Ventures, 500 Startups and angel investors. Carousell aims to make it easy for people to buy and sell things on their phone. The Singapore-based company will use the funding to grow its presence in Southeast Asia, with plans to expand into Malaysia and Indonesia next.

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