Want a new fighter, or do you want to be her again?

I’ll be something new.

Do you think my character’s scary? I’m Reptile.

Hmmm. Yeah, he’s not amused. Uugh. He’s going to get me with those —


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That tongue.

Aaaagh! Now, what’s that he’s doing?

That’s my special move.

What’s my special move?

You saw it. The “Nutcracker.”

That’s the only thing I have?

No, you have a bunch. Here, push the start button. We can teach you another one. We’ll do “Single shot.” Just go back, forward, Square. You’ll shoot your gun at me.

Where’s Square?

Top left. That’s right. Back, forward, Square. There you go. Remember before, when we tried to do the X-ray move? Push these bottom two buttons right at the same time when I’m next to you.


The bottom two ones. Push them right now. There you go.

[My mom’s character punches Reptile in the nuts so hard that they explode.] Oooh!

What just happened, mom?

I got him where it hurts. He wasn’t too happy.

"That's gotta hurt."

Above: “That’s gotta hurt.”

Image Credit: NetherRealm Studios

Reptile wins?! Why?

Because I beat you!

What’s this guy coming out of the water?

Just a corpse? I don’t know.

He doesn’t look too good.

You’re pushing the wrong button now. You have your fingers on the wrong buttons. You keep punching me in the face over and over!

Well, it’s working!

I’m going to do a Fatality. Let’s see. Down, right, down, right, Circle. Watch this. Oh, I missed it. How’d I miss it?

You really blew it. You’ll never get a date. We’re going to fight again?

Yeah, real quick.

I need to learn how to jump.

You know how to jump. You push up.

ESL will organize a $50,000 global Mortal Kombat X tournament.

Above: -time in Mortal Kombat X.

Image Credit: NetherRealm Studios

Oh, you broke my jaw. I can’t see a thing. Now, how could I still be alive after I did that?

I don’t know. You’re fighting. Oh, you did your nut shot.

Ah, jump, jump, jump! Jump! Jump!

Oooh, fancy! Whoa!

How come you’re invisible?

It’s just my taunt between the rounds. With your X-ray move you can push those two buttons to hit me. Your X-ray move, remember? It’s the one where you hit my balls off. Push the two bottom right ones again. Stop jumping! Push the two bottom right ones.

I am!

That’s the bottom left!

Oh, I jumped! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! I’m saying jump and she’s not jumping!

You have to push the button!

I wish it was voice-activated.

You just want to scream at the TV? “Punch, punch!”

Yeah. Punch or shoot ’em.