Check out the on-demand sessions from the Low-Code/No-Code Summit to learn how to successfully innovate and achieve efficiency by upskilling and scaling citizen developers. Watch now.

When news broke today that Microsoft was officially naming the next iteration of its operating system “Windows 7,” all of the VentureBeat writers hanging out in our chat room had the same reaction: Really? Before long we had a rousing game of “write the best headline” going. VentureBeat’s Anthony Ha finally picked one for his actual story, but we thought we’d throw the rest out there just for fun.

Obviously, most of these have an anti-Microsoft tone to them, but come on Microsoft, Windows 7? Really? Aren’t you the company trying to revamp your brand with massive advertising campaigns and viral videos? A name like Windows 7 hardly does that.

Without further ado, the list. Some are good, some quite bad and some believe it or not, are not just movie titles. And please, feel free to leave your own in the comments:

  • Windows 7: We heard it’s a lucky number
  • Windows 7: Like Windows 6 — wait, there was no Windows 6
  • Windows 7: Correct iterations be damned!
  • Windows 7: Apparently 13 versions of Windows + 1 = 7
  • Windows 7: Experience crashes and bad architecture under a classic name
  • Windows 7: The franchise gets a reboot
  • Windows 7: Vista 2 coming soon
  • Windows 7: Please ignore all that stuff we’ve been doing for the past decade
  • Windows 7: DOS 12.1182
  • Windows 7: If it looks like Vista, and smells like Vista…
  • Windows 7: Still not buying it
  • Look through Windows 7 and see Google’s cloud more clearly
  • Windows 7: If that’s the price, it might be worth it
  • “Windows 7”? Give that marketer a promotion
  • Windows 7: A no taste explosion
  • Windows 7: If at first you don’t succeed, try again with a worse name
  • Windows 7: Because f**k it
  • Windows 7: Proving that Windows Vista really was a step backward
  • Windows 7: On the path to catch up with Mac OS X…in 3 iterations. So 15 years.
  • Windows 7: How on earth does a company that calls its products names like ‘Windows 7’ make so much money?
  • Windows 7: When we hit 0, we’ll call it DOS again
  • Windows 7: The search for Spock
  • Windows 7: What does Microsoft think this is, the Police Academy series?
  • Windows 7: Oops, we thought we were naming our Mobile OS
  • Windows 7: We’re way ahead of Linux (in numbers)
  • In death we have a name, and that name is Windows
  • Windows 7: Microsoft renames its failed Vista brand
  • Windows 7: The Vista Menace
  • Windows 7: That which we call Vista by any other name would smell as sweet
  • Windows 7: No quantum of solace for Vista users
  • Windows 7: A few too many
  • Windows 7: Ballmer in space
  • Windows 7: You may want to hold off on the Vista purchase
  • Windows 7: Don’t call it a comeback
  • Windows 7: The next OS you won’t buy either
  • Windows 7: How long until the first Service Pack?
  • Windows 7: I can’t believe it’s not Vista

VentureBeat's mission is to be a digital town square for technical decision-makers to gain knowledge about transformative enterprise technology and transact. Discover our Briefings.