OffBeat

Sorry, Apple, but Conan O’Brien’s office already uses robot staff

Image Credit: Mopic/Shutterstock

As if we needed another reason to love Conan O’Brien.

Not only does he provide us with boisterous laughs and commentary on breaking news, but the red-headed funny man may be more technologically savvy than most of us think — at least when it comes to his employees.

In his humorously smug response to a recent story about Apple using robots to build the iPhone 6, O’Brien said this past Thursday night that he’s been using robots for his show since it began.

“Big deal!” an unimpressed O’Brien said on the episode, to which Tim Cook’s blood pressure likely spiked as he is, for once, not the first person to do something so innovative. “Half of my staff consists of robots!”

O’Brien’s sketch detailing the ways his robot staff do “small but vital jobs” around the office hilariously describes all kinds of robots, from the one browsing Facebook all day to the one who’s always hanging out in the break room to spew a lame catch phrase — “Working hard, or hardly working?” — to unsuspecting co-workers.

There’s the robot who’s always on a loud personal phone call, the robot who steals another robot’s food from the refrigerator, and the robot who makes those annoying passive aggressive comments when someone leaves early from the office.

And who could forget the robot who surfs porn all day but makes sure to turn his computer off as another robot walks by? Sadly, that robot has some complications to iron out: You can’t short-circuit your computer monitor every time you attempt to disable your porn. It’ll just give away your secret.

Looks like we’ll want to be careful with those artificially intelligent, human-like robots. With enough emotional intelligence and independent thinking, they could become just as irritating as real people. Lesson learned.

1 comments
Laurent Groult
Laurent Groult

There is a misconception Apple is an innovator. Apple never said they invent something. They make things right. That's the huge difference.