Welcome to ICYMI, a rundown of news that you might have missed today.

From VB:

No surprises here: Asus attacks Apple for making products for the crazy ones.

It’s light. It’s aluminum. It charges over USB Type C. It’s not the new Macbook; it’s the new Chromebook Pixel, and it’s available today.

You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead pixels. Turkey’s Family and Social Policies Ministry wants to ban Minecraft because it is too violent.

From around the web:

Jamba Juice is now accepting Apple Pay. Does that make it AAPL Juice?

Uber introduced a dashboard of “parental controls” for business administrators, making it easier for employees to expense rides.

Weak yuan, a booming economy, and an abundance of miners are the reasons that 80% of bitcoins are exchanged for Chinese currency. Bonus ICYMI: This Chinese Bitcoin mine makes $1.5M per month.

Cloud and mobile app developers, listen up – Microsoft announced an event with the Azure team scheduled for March 24.

The Intercept’s recent report about the CIA spying on Apple devices may have been a bit overblown, but terrorists still love their iPhones.

You might not be able to decipher that CAPTCHA, but the ‘Podec’ Trojan can on Android devices.

Waze introduced the Time in Traffic Bar, giving drivers an exciting new way to quantify their frustration.

Greg Russell, a VP at Amazon, is joining the Seattle Police Department as Chief Information Officer. I wonder if they’ll offer a Prime membership for speeding tickets?

Apple’s App Store and iTunes Store went down today, forcing me to only distract myself with apps I already own.