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Our regular Funding Daily reporter is off this week, so no more witty headlines for you. But we’ll do our best to fill Rebecca Grant‘s supremely funny shoes!

We will, however, continue to serve up what you presumably came here for: brief blips of funding news with an unusually palatable information-to-buzzword ratio.

Crushpath is giving salespeople a better way to crush it

The startup founded by former execs from Socialcast and Jive Software is off to a good start. The company just raised $6 million from SocialXPartnership and Charles River Ventures to make it easier for salespeople to track their relationships with potential prospects.

Swiftstack gets $6.1 million to take on EMC and NetApp

SwiftStack’s software defined storage solution can run on commodity hardware, and is cheaper than building a storage system from scratch. This first round of funding was led by Mayfield Fund, a venture firm with a long history of investing in the storage space. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

$3.2 million for web-performance monitor Catchpoint Systems

Web-performance monitoring startup Catchpoint Systems raised $3.2 million in new funding that will help it better keep an eye on companies’ web services, APIs, DNS, and more. “Think of us like the fire department,” CEO Mehdi Daoudi told VentureBeat. “We don’t put out the fire, but customers use us to detect smoke in the building, and we tell them the right place to put the hose.” Read the full story on VentureBeat. 

It’s no longer business as usual in medicine: Spiral Genetics gets $3 million

Seattle-based startup, “Spiral Genetics,” raised $3 million to build out tools that help researchers process and analyze genomics data. The round was  led by Draper Fisher Jurvetson, a firm that sees a massive market opportunity for bioinformatics tools. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Evolv can prevent ‘the wrong person ending up in the wrong job’

Evolv’s team of data scientists have developed software they claim can increase workforce tenure by an average of 15 percent and workforce performance by 5 percent. The company just raised $15 million in a fourth funding round led by Vantage Point. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Crittercism raises $12M to help developers monitor app performance

The company announced today that it has received $12 million in a second round of funding led by Google Ventures. Additionally, Crittercism is also launching a new service that will let developers monitor cloud services and network conditions around apps. Its goal? To take its monitoring service to the next level. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

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