This repainting job will lead to the extinction of the human race.

The constant thrumming of an air compressor, the shouts of working men, the stomp of heavy boots high on the scaffolding, the insistent scraping of metal against wood — on and on, day after day, our lives become a shadowy filmstrip running over the unending soundtrack of urban rebirth.

It will begin in our house: our HOA president will snap and turn into a rage-infused zombie. And then, as in all zombie cases, the heat and fury will overflow and infect each and every one of us — a sea of construction-bred zombies plaguing San Francisco, ripping out orange extension cords and crushing no-parking signs. And we won’t stop until every jackhammer has been silenced.

But we haven’t snapped yet, so here’s a bunch of funding briefs.

ContaAzul raises money for its accounty & invoicing SaaS tech

ContaAzul, a Brazil-based accounting SaaS startup, closed a new seed funding, the company announced today. ContaAzul’s technology helps small- and medium-sized businesses build and maintain a platform that easily keeps track of all their accounting activity as well as invoicing. The company said it plans to use the new capital to hire additional employees to futher build out its engineering and product teams. The new round of funding was led by previous investor Ribbit Capital with participation from Valar Ventures, Monashees Capital, and Napkn Ventures. Read more via the press release.

RapidMiner takes $5M

German startup RapidMiner (formerly known as Rapid-I) makes an eponymous analytics tool with a graphical, drag-and-drop interface that enables other departments to participate in predictive analytics. The rebranded company just raised $5 million from Earlybird Venture Capital and Open Ocean to develop new analytics products and expand its sales and marketing operations. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

RallyPoint rallies up $5M to connect recruiters with military talent

Professional network for military members RallyPoint has raised $5 million to expand its online community, where current and former members of the military can connect and collaborate. Like LinkedIn, members use the site to build their professional contacts and seek career opportunities. The company emerged out of the Harvard University Innovation Lab and won the Mass Challenge competition in 2012. It currently has 120,000 members. DBL Investors led this round to accelerate expansion of its military recruiting solutions, which will help corporate hiring managers connect with and recruit military talent.

Bambeco takes $4.5M

Baltimore-based online retailer Bambeco reminds us of with a sustainable spin. The design-conscious curator of home decor and gifts has raised $4.5 million from New Atlantic Ventures and Maryland Venture Fund, as well as a handful of angel investors. Bambeco is “selective with suppliers” to the point that its entire supply chain has become “the culmination of a proprietary cradle-to-cradle sourcing and delivery model designed to carefully vet every product, factory, and supplier,” the company tells us via email.

MyWebRoom is literally a virtual room for all your web crap

MyWebRoom, a web-based content discovery app, raised $2.8 million today, according to a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission. The company’s product takes the form of a virtual room that you can design to look the way you want it to. From there, you can pull in content from all over the Internet and store it in virtual bookcases that actually, well, look like book cases. The company was founded in 2012 and is currently based in San Francisco, Calif. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Pecabu peeks out to reveal raising $1.3M

Pecabu is raising $1.3 million for a stealthy “smart advertising” product that involves big data, cloud-computing, mobile, advertising, and media. The company claims to embed intelligence into the way people do things. Not to be vague or anything. It has raised $325 of an intended $1.3 million round. Here’s the full SEC filing.

Justin Bieber invests $1.1M in teen social network because teens have needs too

Justin Beiber has invested $1.1 million into what is supposed to be the next teen social app to address teen-needs that aren’t already being met by social networks today. Name aside, the team has not revealed much about the app other than the fact that it’ll address “what [teens] aren’t getting on other networks, and which tries to deal with things like cyber-bullying.” This marks Bieber’s first investment in a social network, according to Fortune. Other investors include boxing celebrity Floyd Mayweather, Shervin Pishevar, and angel investor Tom McInerney. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

Blucarat adds $1M investment to its shopping cart

Blucarat, a startup focused on building social commerce technology for online stores, secured a fresh $1 million in seed funding from private investors today. Blucarat’s technology is meant to help online retailers cultivate a large following on social networks as well as provide a way to turn those followers into paying customers. The startup said it plans to use the new capital on development. Blucarat said its social commerce platform has already been deployed by “50 leading retailers” across the globe. The tech is currently in beta, but the startup plans to launch it publicly via commercial retails in the near future. Read more about Blucarat’s new investment via the press release.

Presto! Italy’s P2P lending platform Prestiamoci raises $760K

Italian peer-to-peer lending startup Prestiamoci has raised $760,000. Similar to Lending Club and Prosper, Prestiamoci connects people looking to borrow money with investors interested in lending money. Incubator program Digital Magics participated in this round, as well as angel investors participating in its network. Prestimoci claims to be the only P2P lending platform to get a license from the Banca d’Italia.

NeuroSky raises mystery round

A San Jose-based company called NeuroSky is building sensors to detect your brain activity, so you can control things with your thoughts. The applications for this kind of technology are endless — and are best known in the gaming community – but the company raised an undisclosed sum today to push into the health and fitness market. The funding comes from Softbank, a Japanese corporation, in a round that chief executive Stanley Yang describes as “strategic.” Neurosky has raised about $40 million since its inception in 2006. Read the full story on VentureBeat.

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